After 13 days in ILKAP bangi for my basic law course, i felt the hecticness of the course,the schedule was jammed pack up to nite class. Although we are free,to go out of the institute, none of us want to i guess since each class has it importance in the course. Now i found a new respect to those taking up law, not that all of them are good, just that finishing the studies itself is a huge accomplishment.
Though last nite i was woken up from a dream which well i guess my inner consciousness in testing myself, seeing my reaction to a certain situation with matter of the heart, and i say i respon as i would in real life, i harden my heart and move on, even though the person involved was the person that hold a large chunk of my heart. Although the dream somewhat made me felt down a bit, i realize i am not yet ready to receive such happyness(pun intended) yet. But what can i do?, just make sure that the person is happy, and when that person is happy i am happy. That smile, no matter how painfull the heart might felt, that smile would heal and calm the heart for the longest period of time. I guess until i am really worthy that smile is all i have to keep me going.
My oh my let's lay out the exam schudule, 21st-Law paper, 26-etnic paper, 2nd july-international PR, 9th july- coporate PR, 13th july- marketing com and lastly 14th july Advertising. Fuhhhhhhh~~~~~, i guess the hecticness has started wuuuu~~~~~~, felt a bit stress about international, but that why i am a ninja... I will complete my missiom the best way possible. Wuuu~~~~~~ Well i have another 9 days to go, the spirit is high the mind is tired but the will is strong.... May the force in you complete thetask...wuuuu~~~~~
The huggable ben
Thursday, June 13, 2013
Friday, May 31, 2013
The Month That Start With a Few Tears
May comes with a lot of things happening at the same time,
The Holiday for Labour Day was used completely to relax and rejuvenate. Was not
able to complete all the cleaning process in my room but sweetly enough it was
done on Friday that same week.
The month
start will full of aggressive people since it was the national polling day,
people gat to cast their vote and choose their future leaders. I think if
swearing, ridiculing and using foul words is a grave sin in every religion, the
end of April and early May, Hell would had been fully book by politically
aggressive individual.
The
aftermath of voting day, which I thought everyone would had calm down and focus
on their day to day life, was as weird’s as the last two weeks of campaigning.
It weird because they claim to have all this proof that foul play was at work.
Why not then they gather together all these proof. Give them to the leader and
let the leader with his knowledge in the system since they were the system
before, get action with all these proofs which was gather by everyone. You
don’t trust the system because you don’t understand it, there is a reason why
most of the leader are trained in Law, if you want to used the system then prep
yourself with law education. That hard and that will take time? Well was Rome
built in a day? No it’s not, but it burn in One day, by whom? Find that out you
will understand where to channel your political disappointment.
Trust
is like a mirror, once broken you can mend it back with super glue but you
still can see that it was once broken. To trust completely would never be a
possibility, there will always be doubt.
Heard
news that a friend pass away on voting day, due to a heart complication. I was
so shocked by the news. Was not able to hold my tears the whole day. We were
chatting the week before, just catching up with stuff and how life are, He
wanted me to promise that I meet with him on the next balik kampong trip and he
also promise to come to my sister weeding, arr but at last he went back to the
lord before us all. We first meet during a Franciscan Retreat where monks
aspirant come and learn about their way of life. Different as we may be in both
taste and view of life the one thing in common we had are the dream that one
day St Francis would allow us in his chapel. Rest In Peace My dear friend Alex
Sabadun, May your soul found happiness there and hope St Francis would allow
you in first. God Bless Your Soul….(T_T)
The
most sad news that I got during may was that one of my uncle pass away too, was
so homesick after that because was not able to attend his funeral. God Bless
Your Soul Uncle Jinggol..(T-T)…
But May
was not all sad, my sis got her big day.. which is one of my prayer for her happiness.
Then my nephew got a new job which he loved again another thing that I ask, and
everyone happy within the sadness, happy that everyone had grown up, see all my
relative at my house celebrating with my family. It was really tiring, almost
fainted I have to admit to that, but I was worth it to see the smile on my
sister face and my parents too.
Now May
has ended and I have to go on a course for the whole month of june, then I receive
interview calling for some uniform post which hurrmmm.. I am not so sure I could
get cause well I am a bit tubby in the tummy if you get what I mean, although
in uniform might be sexy I have to say hehehe... but well honestly this blog started
early may but ended posted at end of may that really something rite?
Have a nice Harvest festival to all my family, happy gawai
to my friends in Sarawak
And welcome June !!!
The Huggable Ben
Tuesday, April 30, 2013
April the Month of Everything Goes out of plan
I guess the month of April is the month that everything goes
out of plan, why? Because everything that was plan this month kind of goes
array… hahahaha, I can’t believe it. Just
that well it was suppose to be a slow relaxing month change to be a trying to
get everything done.
Nice vacation for a week, went to a basic Japanese language course.
Not really a holiday but it’s the only close enough to a holiday I would have,
since the rest of the time there would be in the office or at school. I am not complaining
just that this is such a short semester and I don’t want to give a below par
school work, always try to do your best, that what I say to myself, but yeah
sleepless nite, and late nite surfing for info rather than the other fun stuff
we surf for.
The fun about this month is the last day I got surprising
news, going to go a month long course… pure training…. Honestly I did not
though I would be able to be accepted but well maybe there still someone who is
looking at me from up there… *wink*wink..
Arr.. the month with lot and lot of program to be done, I hope
everything went well, bye bye April, heloo May…..(=^w^=)…
The Huggable Ben..(=^w^=)
Thursday, March 7, 2013
March Awakening
Blurry...!! a few day after the start of the month it pretty
much a blur to me. Can’t really find my rhythm, but then again have I really
found my rhythm yet here? I guess I haven’t grounded myself complexly yet.. Cause
I still find myself floating around.
Well I am
quite happy about my result last semester, got some ‘A’ and a ‘B’ but the greatest
feeling is knowing that the most confusing subject of them all I manage to pass
although not with flying colours but at least with a nice ‘B- ‘ which say you a
bit above average but not good enough to gain a political badge. I don’t mind
although I know N.22 would, but like who say I want a political future. Hahahaha...
Yesterday
I suddenly got a sweet tooth; I was craving for something sweet all day long. Weird..
not really just normally I could resist the temptation but well I fail miserably
and ate a slice of banana chocolate cake an two scoop of ice cream, plus 3
sweet buns. I think my blood sugar raise up to above abnormal I guess
hahahaha...
After such
a long time, finally gather the courage to submit a manuscripts for review, I don’t
aspect for it to gain so much impact that they want to publish it right away
but I would like to see what the editor say about my artwork that I had left
for such a long time. And find a few projects after that too, so be doing some
more artwork to fill up my time and maybe finally grounded myself here. Finding
my footing here.
I miss
my anchor so much, I remember that these anchor was my footing before and now
they seem to be so far away. Although not really that far but I guess the
closeness are not there anymore. Hurmmmm.. But well the only thing that is
constant is change, so I have to accept it and well maybe I find some new thing
as an anchor for me here. Finding them is crucial, because I need them... I think...well
at least with them life would be a bit more fun and spicy...
Well that all for today I guess
The huggable Ben
Friday, February 22, 2013
January & February
I know it has been a while since I
written anything I this blog, I dun understand why I keep finding myself unable
to write anything for the blog although I think I have lot of things to say. But
yeah I realize something. I am a proud student of the communication arts why don’t
I practice more on my writing? I used to love writing stuff in the blog I once
own although some of my blog had gone dried because I kind of forget their password.
But I should forget this blog because I always open it just the about of
posting I have here are like so small I mean like the year of 2012. I only have
an average of 1 posting a month.
January,
The month of January past by
really fast I guess it was a very hectic month indeed yet I can say that 2012
is a pretty much hectic year. But 2013, well I am at a new place, with new challenges
yet the same person I have always been. The month of January is the month of
exam for my life as a student. Last semester I took 4 classes and only three of
them have final examination. Although all assignment are done before I went for
my Christmas holiday, the feeling of uneasiness linger for the final examination
in this month. The month was full of stay back at the office, doing revision
and final examination past year’s question. But after the exam I was finally
free for a little while. But January holds its own weirdness I guess. The
realization that my sister is getting married soon just made me realize how
time had passed by and now how matured all of us had grown. I am so happy for
her but at the same time I shed tear of joy knowing that my sister had become
an adult. I am 30 this year but well I guess I will always be 17 at heart and
apparently to the eyes the customer service staff of the cinema that still
insists to see my ID before I continue into a rated 18 and above movie. My new year’s
resolution for the years 2013 are errmm... I cant really remember already, but
something about finish up what I haven’t accomplish in the year 2012
hehehehe...
February,
February is the month where
people look forward to because it the month of hearts exchanging and whatever. But
the only this that I look forward to during this month would be my Mom birthday
and well the result of my last semester. Which actually fall only a day apart,
go figure! He he.. So what better way to celebrate both by just going on a holiday?
Mom at hometown so cant really joins in the celebration, but never mind I be
celebration with her in my heart. See I can be sweet rite? Hahahaha....
Valentine, never really celebrate it as other people I guess, although
originally it was in my culture to celebrate it, but I guess well my definition
of valentine is more towards the spiritual meaning of it rather that the lovey
dovey stuff, neway I was a nice event, with some sweet gesture and I
appreciates it so much... there you go two month in just one go...
The Huggable Ben
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
I survive the apocalypse..... (=^w^=)...meow...
Own I did not put any posting for December, well that just
show how hectic it was last month. When the Study task and work collide and
cause an epic time of busyness that almost ruined my Christmas shopping plan.
But gladly was able to do some shopping but still was not
able to buy everything on my list.
So what happen in December? I almost cried when my politic lecturer
made a mural of red ink of my project report which took me more than a week to
finish researching and prepared for the submission. I don’t really fond of the
subject really but well it is a core, so maybe i bare the torment and learn a
few knowledge of this subject called “POLITIC”
Finishing up the 3rd semester, at the start of
the semester, my motivation was down for a while when I had to drop my research
topic because I was not able to cope the subject alone. And the psychology researches
prove that to do any research subject you can’t do it alone. You need a good
and hard working team that are able to be with your during the ups and down of
the research.
I found my latest craze..... Don’t want to be the elf in
LOTR... Want to be the Dwarves Warriors... hehehe.. As I had said before
sabahan are known to be short and tubby and we live in a land with a huge mountain...
totally feeling the dwarves journey as me as a dwarven prince returning home.. The
movie is so touching... I can’t wait till they release the DVD and I am totally
going to buy it.
December is always so dear to me. It is the time when I take
my holiday and go back home to spend time with the family. Miss them so much
since my last trip back home was December last year, it is literally been a years
since I saw any of them. mom and dad, my sister and brother. My niece and my
nephew.. Spending quality time with them. Also got to meet up with special ones
too..... because you’re special hehehe...
So semester finals in January then a long break before we
start again.
I was waiting for what going to happen on the 21st
of December 2012, it was a total let down but I least now I can say I survive
the apocalypse...wuuu~~~~ Welcome January 2013, Finals? Come at me bro..
hehehe...
The Huggable Ben
Monday, November 12, 2012
The November Rain
The time of the semester has come, a tiring time where we
are trying to finish everything that the lecturer had given us at the start of
the semester. I am loving this but yeah I am tired, out of stamina and kind of
lack of motivation...
So what do I do when I felt that way? I watch movies.. Those
student who think that college life are hard, try watching homeless to Harvard a
liz murray story.... and then compare it to your own life... then try to say
your life is hard I dare you!!!
That is what this all about, conditioning yourself. I been
working for the past 6 years in the government and all I need in the paper
qualification to move up and better myself. I might not be able to achieve one
of my former dreams but I make use of what I have now and become the best
pokemon trainer... erk... wrong dream... hehehehe... I be the best of what I
do... communicate!!!
Since I am waiting for the latest episode form Naruto..oh
yeah another of my dream to be a shinobi... !! hahahahahaha... I been enjoying
myself with pokemon episode.... I wish I could have a bulbasaur... huhuhu...
and a phanpy too.. hehehehe....
I just drift myself in the fantasy world from time to time
so that I won’t miss home, family and my niece and nephew a lot. Especially during
November rain. Christmas is just around the corner... so yeah I am a bit home
sick cause my last time back home was last year Christmas, so it be like almost
a year from home... a witch training should be over by now.... but I still have
a degree to attained huhuhuhu...
So yeah got my ticket back home.. i be home soon.... but
again the be final exam too soon huhuhu.... gambatee ne!!!
Huggable Ben....
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