The waiting game~~

It’s the waiting game is on, we be waiting until midnight, when the official result for semester 5 be out, some of my friend who is on their last semester good luck my friend and those who are like me. Let’s just hope that we do not have to repeat anything.

Really worried about two subject at the moment, really hope I clear this hurdle…wuuu~~~

Well let just buy everything we need (cake I case the worst case scenario and the best) and thing to get out of my mind wuuu~~~~

The Huggable Ben~~

February…..wuuu~~~

My oh my, its February? What happen to December and January? Why didn’t I post anything?  I blame it on time, there was so many assignment dateline and test to be done that I forgotten to write anything, does that seem to be a theme for me lately, there little time to write anything here.

I was lonely since my nephew had grown up and well wuuu~~… but it ok, as long as he is happy I am too. Did not go overboard during this holiday because well I have to study for my exam which is the next day after I had return to kuala lumpur which is like ewww so tiring….wuuu~~~

Had a nice holiday this year although was not able to see all my friends especially my dear nephew…wuuu~~, can’t do everything I guess maybe soon occay..~~

Did a lot of cooking too, with my Chicken soup with rice wine, and some other dishes simple yet well I did rather acceptably. Which in turn sparks my long lost interest in cooking for myself hahaha….~~~ I wanted to do a huge gathering for family but well the timing doesn’t seem to aligned with everyone plan so well again can’t do anything about that too..

End of January after all the exam had been done, finally my letter from last October had reached the rite people. And well still waiting for the appointment to speak out about the issue. Hahaha… sound so academician. Neway had a nice getaway with friends at north, wanted to go south but was to late to plan anything during festive season travel hectic-ness  wuuu~~~~.

Exam result fall on the same date as valentine day, so sweet*as if…. What if we fail a subject? Heartbroken on valentine day is so sad~~~… *need hugs….

Well new year of the horse aka Sarah Jessica Parker and this mean this year theme is sex in the city …. Muhahahahahahahahaha~~~~

Huggable Ben

Being a hermit and gone for several month....

What ever happen to July, august, September, October and November? Why haven’t I remember to write anything in here? Lost for while huh?

Well a lot happen actually, some worth mentioning, some not, and then the regular hectic-ness of life that govern our whole well being. Sometime think it would be nice being a hermit, you know, drifts swiftly amongst the hectic life of others praying for their happiness they are pursuing in their daily life.

Well I was really happy to get my result from all the course and exam during June, I pass everything although my Law course, not flying colour and all, just a small sparks I guess, I mean I pass all 8, and nothing else mater hahahahaha.. The Government exam out of three papers I pass the Law section, another huge thingie since I had been taking the exam for the past 4 years and never pass that particular paper. Two down and 1 to go I guess hahahaha… The university exams where I have to make a strategic move this semester, with help and advice from not only friends and lecturer also professor form other campuses. It was a wakeup call last semester, it not only what can you sacrifice but also what is needed for survival.

This semester actually started at a weird and awkward experience, the classes I register was cancel because of not enough student enrolling *suddenly I have a distinct memory about the movie Larry Crowne . So just have 4 subject this semester, First session class is 2.00pm till 6.30pm and the second session 8.30am till 12.45pm.. hahaha….almost like a split normal semester. Can’t take more subject because the cohort had change, well what to do, have to go with the flow then.

Thanksgiving had just pass, I know it’s not our culture, so is black Friday but that doesn’t seem to stop people from here talking about it right? I have a lot to be thankful tabout this year. All my “consider small by anyone “but huge success for me, I am thankful for all of them. I am thankful that I am still alive and kicking, I am thankful my mom and dad are healthy too so are the rest of my family. I am thankful that I was able to enjoy all the great food. I am thankful for all the wonderful people I had meet this years, all of you are extremely wonderful and all I can say is that the big guy up there guide us to meet so we all be happier on earth. Lastly I am thankful that after numerous obstacle I was able to finish my research this semester, although it just a 25 page research but the topic was close to the heart for me and I hope Dr Teddybear would accept it and would at least give me a pass wuu~~~~ till the next entry……..(=^_^=)

Huggable Ben

Day 13..... Confined in bangi

After 13 days in ILKAP bangi for my basic law course, i felt the hecticness of the course,the schedule was jammed pack up to nite class. Although we are free,to go out of the institute, none of us want to i guess since each class has it importance in the course. Now i found a new respect to those taking up law, not that all of them are good, just that finishing the studies itself is a huge accomplishment. 

Though last nite i was woken up from a dream which well i guess my inner consciousness in testing myself, seeing my reaction to a certain situation with matter of the heart, and i say i respon as i would in real life, i harden my heart and move on, even though the person involved was the person that hold a large chunk of my heart. Although the dream somewhat made me felt down a bit, i realize i am not yet ready to receive such happyness(pun intended) yet. But what can i do?, just make sure that the person is happy, and when that person is happy i am happy. That smile, no matter how painfull the heart might felt, that smile would heal and calm the heart for the longest period of time. I guess until i am really worthy that smile is all i have to keep me going. 

My oh my let's lay out the exam schudule, 21st-Law paper, 26-etnic paper, 2nd july-international PR, 9th july- coporate PR, 13th july- marketing com and lastly 14th july Advertising. Fuhhhhhhh~~~~~, i guess the hecticness has started wuuuu~~~~~~, felt a bit stress about international, but that why i am a ninja... I will complete my missiom the best way possible. Wuuu~~~~~~ Well i have another 9 days to go, the spirit is high the mind is tired but the will is strong.... May the force in you complete thetask...wuuuu~~~~~ 

The huggable ben

The Month That Start With a Few Tears

May comes with a lot of things happening at the same time, The Holiday for Labour Day was used completely to relax and rejuvenate. Was not able to complete all the cleaning process in my room but sweetly enough it was done on Friday that same week.

                The month start will full of aggressive people since it was the national polling day, people gat to cast their vote and choose their future leaders. I think if swearing, ridiculing and using foul words is a grave sin in every religion, the end of April and early May, Hell would had been fully book by politically aggressive individual.

                The aftermath of voting day, which I thought everyone would had calm down and focus on their day to day life, was as weird’s as the last two weeks of campaigning. It weird because they claim to have all this proof that foul play was at work. Why not then they gather together all these proof. Give them to the leader and let the leader with his knowledge in the system since they were the system before, get action with all these proofs which was gather by everyone. You don’t trust the system because you don’t understand it, there is a reason why most of the leader are trained in Law, if you want to used the system then prep yourself with law education. That hard and that will take time? Well was Rome built in a day? No it’s not, but it burn in One day, by whom? Find that out you will understand where to channel your political disappointment.

                Trust is like a mirror, once broken you can mend it back with super glue but you still can see that it was once broken. To trust completely would never be a possibility, there will always be doubt.

                Heard news that a friend pass away on voting day, due to a heart complication. I was so shocked by the news. Was not able to hold my tears the whole day. We were chatting the week before, just catching up with stuff and how life are, He wanted me to promise that I meet with him on the next balik kampong trip and he also promise to come to my sister weeding, arr but at last he went back to the lord before us all. We first meet during a Franciscan Retreat where monks aspirant come and learn about their way of life. Different as we may be in both taste and view of life the one thing in common we had are the dream that one day St Francis would allow us in his chapel. Rest In Peace My dear friend Alex Sabadun, May your soul found happiness there and hope St Francis would allow you in first. God Bless Your Soul….(T_T)

                The most sad news that I got during may was that one of my uncle pass away too, was so homesick after that because was not able to attend his funeral. God Bless Your Soul Uncle Jinggol..(T-T)…

                But May was not all sad, my sis got her big day.. which is one of my prayer for her happiness. Then my nephew got a new job which he loved again another thing that I ask, and everyone happy within the sadness, happy that everyone had grown up, see all my relative at my house celebrating with my family. It was really tiring, almost fainted I have to admit to that, but I was worth it to see the smile on my sister face and my parents too.

                Now May has ended and I have to go on a course for the whole month of june, then I receive interview calling for some uniform post which hurrmmm.. I am not so sure I could get cause well I am a bit tubby in the tummy if you get what I mean, although in uniform might be sexy I have to say hehehe... but well honestly this blog started early may but ended posted at end of may that really something rite?

Have a nice Harvest festival to all my family, happy gawai to my friends in Sarawak

And welcome June !!!                                                       

The Huggable Ben 

April the Month of Everything Goes out of plan

I guess the month of April is the month that everything goes out of plan, why? Because everything that was plan this month kind of goes array…  hahahaha, I can’t believe it. Just that well it was suppose to be a slow relaxing month change to be a trying to get everything done.

Nice vacation for a week, went to a basic Japanese language course. Not really a holiday but it’s the only close enough to a holiday I would have, since the rest of the time there would be in the office or at school. I am not complaining just that this is such a short semester and I don’t want to give a below par school work, always try to do your best, that what I say to myself, but yeah sleepless nite, and late nite surfing for info rather than the other fun stuff we surf for.

The fun about this month is the last day I got surprising news, going to go a month long course… pure training…. Honestly I did not though I would be able to be accepted but well maybe there still someone who is looking at me from up there… *wink*wink..

Arr.. the month with lot and lot of program to be done, I hope everything went well, bye bye April, heloo May…..(=^w^=)…

The Huggable Ben..(=^w^=)

March Awakening

                 Blurry...!! a few day after the start of the month it pretty much a blur to me. Can’t really find my rhythm, but then again have I really found my rhythm yet here? I guess I haven’t grounded myself complexly yet.. Cause I still find myself floating around.

                Well I am quite happy about my result last semester, got some ‘A’ and a ‘B’ but the greatest feeling is knowing that the most confusing subject of them all I manage to pass although not with flying colours but at least with a nice ‘B- ‘ which say you a bit above average but not good enough to gain a political badge. I don’t mind although I know N.22 would, but like who say I want a political future. Hahahaha...

                Yesterday I suddenly got a sweet tooth; I was craving for something sweet all day long. Weird.. not really just normally I could resist the temptation but well I fail miserably and ate a slice of banana chocolate cake an two scoop of ice cream, plus 3 sweet buns. I think my blood sugar raise up to above abnormal I guess hahahaha...

                After such a long time, finally gather the courage to submit a manuscripts for review, I don’t aspect for it to gain so much impact that they want to publish it right away but I would like to see what the editor say about my artwork that I had left for such a long time. And find a few projects after that too, so be doing some more artwork to fill up my time and maybe finally grounded myself here. Finding my footing here.

                I miss my anchor so much, I remember that these anchor was my footing before and now they seem to be so far away. Although not really that far but I guess the closeness are not there anymore. Hurmmmm.. But well the only thing that is constant is change, so I have to accept it and well maybe I find some new thing as an anchor for me here. Finding them is crucial, because I need them... I think...well at least with them life would be a bit more fun and spicy...

Well that all for today I guess

The huggable Ben