December Is here....

December is here…and I still don’t get it why I have a strange felling this morning, plus a strange dream last nite…

But anyway, I felt like something I need to do something about what I want to do… I felt like doing something more then just what am doing now. But the dream suggest that I should wait… hehehe.. I guess my subconscious mind is rite in a way.

I was asked, why did I run off escaping from the city any chance I have, the first thing people would think is that I am having a crush on someone to be constantly be doing that. No not really. I don’t have a secret lover. Just me…

I was trying to understand, what happen recently, what could I have done wrong….then I realize.. I did nothing, I was the same person I was before, and if that does not complement together with it than I better of with my own way I guess….

If you are confused….you on the rite track, since this is not a full blog, just snippet from my thought, and my mind is as confuse as you see at this moment …

Hug muah!!

The Huggable Ben

A shocking statement……..

It started as a regular day today, nothing much plan, and well nothing much to look forward too… but a surprising statement came out from the most unexpected person.. KG admin was looking for the office daily news, but when KG admin couldn’t find it, KG admin came to my desk asking for it, since I was using my head phone… I couldn’t hear KG admin at first but then KG admin grab the head phone and say “ben sayang mana paper hari ni?” I was like …..huh??? what did you say??? Hehehehe…… although KG admin was just joking at that time, but nevertheless is almost like getting something impossible, like a movie actor miraculously knowing who you are.. Although KG admin is not really someone as famous as a artist, just that is one of the KG one of the always want but could never have.. so similar lar kira….

Hehehe a very short one.. but I need to let it out to stop the blushing…. Hehehe

The Huggable Ben

Are you serious? Do you really think I care?

I put this status message up a yesterday, and I got a ton’s or reply, asking what happen, what did they miss and all, just then I realize I haven’t been updating my blog recently. Yeah I had been really quite for the past few weeks. A friend actually ask if I were like hospitalized or something because I always at least update my bulletin. Well I am not hospitalized or anything it just that is almost the end of the year and the amount of work load is piling up. Plus I am having my year end holiday soon so my boss is really piling it up.

What up with the KG and stuff? Nothing much actually. For the past week I was making a effort to finish almost everything that need to be done. So if I go on my holiday, it would not affect my unit so much, I mean there only three functional staff there, and one other staff who have enough experience. Let’s just see what this year will bring. What new issue it will bring? So exciting rite…. hehehe

I need to finish something before I can continue on with another.. but well I still working on this, problem is there just to much for me to finish and time have not been very kind to me at the least. So I planning and fine tuning everything so that I finish it without any a hassle.

Let’s get back to the status message. It was meant for someone indeed but only the person concern would understand it. So if you don’t, it means that that statement was not for you! Hehehe, funny that everybody thinks it was for them, but when I ask why they think so, they themselves aren’t able to answer it.

I have so much to plan and finish, I finally realize I don’t give a damn about other stuff, and making a statement that I am miserable here because a petit issue, well the answer is my status message… “are you serious? Do you really think I care?” and some addition to that” That I give a damn about that?” ….. seriously.. if you think I do, you seriously need help!

Hehehe.. that my mental notes for now…. Until the next blog…. Hugs!!! To all!!

The Huggable Ben…

Happy Anniversary To Me….!!

Yes! Yesterday on the 9 of November 2008 was my 2nd anniversary of being a responsible (really?) mature (are you sure about this?) Adult (felt old with this statement!) but indeed it’s been two years as a Government Officer, although is not really going to be where I work for the rest of my career life. I hope one day I could be like my friend who is having their interview as a secretary at a Malaysian Embassy Oversea…(Europe and Japan wait for me!!) I wish you guys all the best and if you got the post, I would like souvenirs when you guys come back home.

Had a very nice dinner yesterday a buffet seafood restaurant at Sunway. Didn’t ate a lot, just enjoying the chat while waiting for the food to be boil in the steamboat. The ice cream was nice though. Was fun chatting and getting everyone together. Fun part about it is that our counterpart north! In Penang was also having their dinner at a buffet restaurant too. Funny that happened rite….

Few more week to go before my big holiday plan to commerce cant really wait, but I have to, and have to put on the best face to face the yearly appraisal season “The SKT” is due soon.. hehehe…hopefully this year I at least could score more than last year.

Week left until we say goodbye to 2008….

The Huggable Ben Mashimaro

It Still Hurt……

Well I been quite recently, if you ask me why? I am not really sure but probably I just need to take some time for myself. Because even though it’s been a year, it still hurt…

I was thinking, shouldn’t a heart be heal through time? Shouldn’t I be feeling better by now? But I am not, I spent almost the whole nite, thinking, meditating and calming my self with all the happy memory I had the whole year. It made me smile a for a while and it make me felt better only to find out that it still wasn’t enough. But I have my family and friends. With you guys around, I know I will heal, although slow, but I am confident enough I will be.

So, a friend asks about an entry about the flirting with someone who I was not supposed too… what was the development on that story? Nothing… I have been very quite lately really quite… why are you looking at me like that? :-P!

My office got a new Supervisor…I don’t really know why? But this new superv is kinda Cute! My friends know my definition of cute but, physically the superv is not my definition… but the superv have a kinda nurturing aura that actually creates a situation where you like to bond with the superv….. ewww… kinda weird I guess … but I like the new superv which I am gonna call “KG admin” why? Is something you want but you can’t have… the one desire which we place in the dark…that “KG” so, there is a “KG Jusa” “KG aras1” and strangely I have to admit it to myself “KG admin”

I felt much better after writing this blog! Hope you all enjoy your day! And these last two month of the year 2008! Hugs and kisses!!

Huggable Ben

Hectic Week Indeed….

What happen after raya?.....All the Open Houses lar… hehehe.. Yeap until today I have been to a total of 9 Open Houses and yeah all have plenty of food indeed, but I to maintan the diet I am on…which it compensate with Hydro Diet and Herbal Tea… hehehehe…

Okay… i miss someone so much.. I really wanted to talk to this person, but the problem is, this person is using his disappearing act, which until now I don’t understand why… I miss the friendly chat and advise given… I don’t know why I like to listen to advise although I know what I want I want people to tell me what it is, and this person understand it, I thought we were becoming a good friends before this person just wasn’t there..so much stuff to chat about yet…. This person just wasn’t there…Maybe this person is busy with work, but a simple hello would be nice rite?

The Ministry Open house this year was great indeed, not just that I got to actually taste almost all the food serve in every stall, there was a also all the cute people around… hhehehe secara habis2an mencuci mata…

The Department open house was great too..cause this year I was in full Raya Attaire hehehe.. I be putting up the pic soon… hehehehe….the nice part about the Dept Open house is that I was spending so much time talking sarawakian with Uncle Bester which is our lawyer from Sibu, Until the other State Head came by and join in the chat, although we was back chatting in Malay, just that Uncle Bester was really fun to talk to, He does not treat me as a subordinate but a young man trying to get advice from a matured one hehehe. It’s almost 1am, yet I am not at all sleepy, probably because I am not really looking forward for tomorrow, because there is another Open House to attend too…. And I am running out of herbal tea to wash out the xtra fat.. anyhow I need to get some sleep now.. hugs to all!!

The Huggable Ben

The Last Bahulu...

A close friend of mine bought me a bag of freshly bake Kuih Bahulu dari pantai timur… the special thing about this cake is that it is traditionally bake using “sabut kelapa”. The taste is totally different, although I like any variety of Bahulu but I like the tradisional one much more..i don’t really know why? I was a bit greedy cause I did not share it with anyone I enjoyed it all by myself… hehehe… I am so bad huh? But yesterday i finish up the last one…are you wondering why am I talking about Bahulu all of a sudden? i am myself am puzzle, hehehehehe….. Just I am feeling a bit melancholic at the moment, so the Bahulu is my “honey and clover”….

My Boss said something very nice today, I never heard he say it to anyone and he did not say it direct to me, but to a friend while I was buzy preparing for the “Open House” for my Bahagian today… He say “ Ben ni…dier ler yang selalu kene marah…dier gak yang paling kuat kerja..” my colleague who heard this immediately told me what he say.. and for a while I was blushing, but that the problem, he could be totally nice at one time and the other way around at the next. But for that one comment I felt happy and energized, it not really easy to get such an honest praise like that. Especial from my boss, how do I know he was honest? Cause he did not say it in front of me, but quietly to himself that was overheard by my colleague. It was a nice “pat on the back” for me indeed.

My work are getting back lag again… although I am trying very hard to finish everything it keep on piling up around me…. A nice holiday back home would be very nice indeed.. hehehe

The Huggable Ben

Ask Me About My Weight…!!

I posted a shout out saying maintain cuteness even after weight loss… hoping someone would ask about my diet… hehehe thanks Firdaus.. hehehe…

Before Ramadan month, my weight is about 125 kg, I remember it distinctively, because the person who was reading the scale was so shock that I weight that much…

And during raya I can bet that I would at least gain again 2 kg… there was just to much food I guess . To my surprise I current weight is 120.7, I know this because a friend who is like promoting a product brought his weight scale, a digital one.. so if I weight before was like 125kg and during the three day of raya I gain at least 2 kg, with my current weight.. I Lost the total amount of……7 KILO’s Muiahahahahha ….wow.. really cant believe it myself.. but it just show that the diet work…

I don’t really plan to slim down, just wanted to reduce my weight back to 100kg, a bit lighter so I could be more vigorous …. Hehehe….. what? what are you thinking? Hehehe..

Another surprise, my English lecturer call me just now, at first we just chatted about old time and how things are for both of us, the next part of the conversation is about, he found out about my blog, he was reading it before he called and commented that I still need more practice and improvement. Even after study I still get commented so lar…. But yeah.. is always been the case, I can speak fluently but writing wise I am the worst…
But thank you sir for your advise… (hormat Cikgu..!)

The past few day was fun… I cant believe I ever felt that happy before…hehehe….

The Very Happy Huggable Ben

Post Raya Blog…..

Well I had a nice Raya holiday this year, although it is an extended one, but it was nice…. The three musketeers went to almost everyone house, I think that if I lost about 1 or 2 kg during the Ramadan month I gain it during the two days of raya. Hehehe… I am so bad with food…..

Controversy ? Recently I am all about controversy.. But well that life I guess.

I kind of am getting the knack of being like who I am now, A Coyote…. Hehehehe…

Back to work tomorrow.. isk..rasa cam cuti tak cukup jer….tak nak buat cam ner… hehehe…

Went to a very scenic place during raya..which was a place where a feature movie Called “SEPI” hehehe..Yeah I like to take the Adam role… but it was taken by someone else already… hehehe…
So to my colleague see you guys tomorrow... (I am waiting for my Kuih raya!) and my friends Happy holiday!! Hugs!!

The Huggable Ben

Décor Weekend……

I spend the whole weekend redecorating my room plus cleaning old stuff. Why? Well the other day while waiting for my favorite show which is midsummer murder on hallmark channel, I was watching Oprah… they were talking about “it’s just to much!” is about how me tend to keep stuff and our home become to messy (yes… it “was” messy…!).

In the program they introduce a few technique on how to purge of unusable stuff or unneeded stuff because let face it… if you don’t need and use them…why in the hell would you keep them?... By the end of the two day which I sleep outside my room because the cleaning and redesigning was still undone. I manage to compile six garbage bag of stuff to throw away. I surprise even myself..

I finally realize that for the past year I being collection junk so severely that my room usable space was like only 20%. After cleaning and redecorating I got back the 60%. More space, more cleanly, more smile… hheheehehehe…

I was very tiring indeed to move all the stuff anf furniture around but I finally finish it… and proud of myself I guess ..Hebat juga ben ni kam…!!!

The huggable ben

Hari yang malas…..

It was strange to actually to even have this Phase late in the year… normally the laziness syndrome happen early in a year rite after holiday, Laziness syndrome is similar to burn out. But probably it was the new system at work, which present a problem, because I was the only one who have clearance to use, but it was critical task so, if I am not there no one else can do it.(or none would cover for me) which also mean this might effect my holiday plan this year end….

Plus I think I just need a single day break which I only spend with myself. That a good cure for burn out I guess, with the amount of stuff happening that cause you to burn out, just having time just for yourself help a lot…

I took a leave today, because I couldn’t wake up, burn out symptom #1 your mind is telling you body to do something but the body just wont do it. Although I took an off day, and I have the time to actually go anywhere I like. I cant bring myself to walk out the house, just wanted to rest.. and rest…. Before you knew it…. It already 4 pm….the whole day I was just sitting in front of the tv…

Strangely at the moment I felling perk up, I wanted to go out… and smile and I think I go grocery shopping. Hehehe…. I wish there a swimming pool near here…. Other than shopping swimming calm me down hehehe…..

Walau apa pun , hari ini memang hari yang malas buat saya…. Hehehehe…..

Hugs

The Huggable Ben

I Have move on….

I had to face a dilemma recently.. I was stuck in the middle of a controversy which took a twisted route. I now realize people may advise to you that you need to move on but the truth is they could never accept that you did, because it means that I don’t need them anymore….

I tried my best to be diplomatic…I try ever single way that I know of in trying to be fair to everyone. But I was not the newcomer…so why must I leave? Why must I get emo about it… I don’t need too…. So why must I look and act like how you like me to act which is miserable, why cant you accept that I am happy? And I have move on….to the next level… and if you could not accept it.. that your problem not mine… stop trying to connect me with it… face your one demon and don’t try to put the blame on me just because I finally happy with myself now and not miserable like you think I should be. Please knock of the drama… I really don’t need it….and so does everyone else…

But being the cheerful person I am, I can totally put this dilemma aside and move on to a more cheerful topic… this is the 13th day of fasting which I am able to complete, I miss a few days hehehe… and I lost 1 kg of my weight…. See….hehehe my diet working… hehehe…hey plus I got an invite for a sabatikal trip to Cairo… how kwel is that huh? Hehehe…. But it is still in process so no comformation yet… ( but I really hope it was.. hehe…!)

The Huggable Ben

ACCCHOOOO………!!!!

After a few days of feeling feverish, It finally came, my 1st cold fever…. I been sneezing since last nite… took med which cause you to get sleepy and woke up late this morning….. although I manage to catch the early bus then the problem arise when I arrive at the office I still cant stop sneezing.. I think I am taking off early today so I can go to the clinic…

Cold fever for me are much more uncomfortable than the last fever.. because of the running nose and the sneezing… the last fever I just felt warm and tired.. isk… siot jer…

But at least I know what am gonna have for breaking fast later….. a warm Nescafe tarik….. plus I wanted to try the new KFC product.. can’t remember it’s name, but all my friends say it was nice… but definitely I need my Nescafe first…..but at least it a bit easier fasting with a fever.. you don’t seem to have a mood to eat anything…… although my tummy is grumbling like there is a soccer tournament in there,,, hehehehe

Hugs to all….. and selamat berbuka…….

The Huggable Ben

I think I did something wrong……..

Aiyo….harus sanggat kan, a glance at the title so much controversy came to you mind huh? But well is nothing much I guess just that I think I hurt someone feeling in somehow or rather…cause that someone is kindda felt like trying to avoid me…well nothing I can do I guess, I cant fix something I don’t even know what is wrong with it rite? Hopefully that someone would just tell me what wrong.

This morning I cant wake up at all, I was really late to the office today but well I had too…to much work to be done, and I got a new scanner…for this GEO-EDMS thingies.

I was awake earlier, but then my body just don’t want to move. Last nite it was raining… I my body was saying to me, I want a warm hug… but well…what to do…..not everything that we want , we can have rite?? So I roll myself with my comforter and emerged as a “Vutot!” hehehee…. I look like a giant Vutot indeed… hehehe.. what is vutot? “ulat sagu”? mainly it look like a gaint fat caterpillar…hehehehe. To recreate to warm of being hug?

And suddenly at this moment I realize that I am having a fever…..owh….. my tummy felt weird.. … I think I am going back early today…..

The Feverish Huggable Ben

My Redang Holiday Trip……..best siot!!!

Well this blog is 2 days late, because the past few days I was recuperating from my holiday which was suppose to be a time to recuperate from my work, how ironic is that huh?

How was my trip? Well I was great , because it was with my friends, the boat ride was a bit tiring but nevertheless fun. First day snorkeling did not turn out so well, a few of my friends was swept away by the strong wave so had to be a life guard for a while, problem was, it been a while since I did so serious swimming so, my arm felt like jelly after rescuing some of my friends and a few student at teluk kelong bay. Hehehe….

The food was to my taste is average but the room was nice and comfortable. Had a chance to do some scuba-diving which was fun but because of my buddy had drain all the air in his tank we had to cut the dive short, but again nevertheless it was a nice and good dive indeed. The night life was fun, but the best part was midnight dip in the sea, added bonus it was a full moon, so the water was beautiful…totally magical, if I ever choose to live as a witch, I totally choose Redang.. hehehehe….

The trip back was a bit tiring, much controversy happen that day, which include me in it, hehehehe strange rite for someone who is always trying to avoid controversy I was in the middle of it that day.

I have to agree it was the best holiday and it was my first after two years as a working adult…hehehe…. Hugs to all!!! Muah2!!

The Huggable Ben

P/s there were more happening during the holiday, but cant really say it in the blog, hehehehe trade secret hehehe….

Life as an administrator….

I came back to a table with 5 level of “fail tindakan” amongst these file was a few overdue letter which was marked urgent but was somehow deem to the rest of my staff as “cant wait till Ben get back” item. I was really furious when I came in today, but I manage to keep myself cool because well I had a very good day yesterday and a very very good week last week, the happiness just overshadow the anger I had, because as I realize before, non of my colleague are efficient at all.

I can do their daily task if they were on a Sick day or going on a holiday. But they cant5 do mine for these reason;

“It been such a long time since I last did this task, I cant remember how?”
“I have my own work to do, I don’t have time to take over other’s”
“I wont to administrator task”
“If I do his task, then other people will think that I am “Gila Kuasa!” person”

If I use any of these reason to not do their task on their off day or when their attending courses, I wonder how it will be like? Somehow after today I felt that, if I were to take a sabbatical leave this Dept will go down the drain. Because none of them are can take over, and cover my section. And if my section was not that important, the hell would I care, the problem is, my unit is the vein off the dept, everything that goes out and in (document wise) from this dept must go through me. So what happen when I was attending a course last week? – My unit was put on a halt; nothing was done until I came in today.

But one good thing about this situation is that I was able to see how good I was as an administrator. In only 8 hours of non-stop and uninterrupted work, I was able to complete 80% of the last week task and today task, I was unable to complete the 20% because lack of recourses.

In Other Word…I am amazing…! Angle with halo and wings yet to come!!

The Huggable Ben

S€X In The City..plus some more….

Wow a wonderful weekend indeed, had a very fun time at SUNWAY LAGOON…. Can you believe it? After almost seven years here in I can only been there twice. Better still I was able play almost all of the ride and slide there, only thing that was not really fun was the surf beach doesn’t have any wave… and the kiddie pool only have wave for a little while.. I wanted wave…..!!!!! well lucky soon I will have sand and sun plus wave…!! Hehehe jangan jealous!! Hehehe…

Wokey other than a splashing weekends, hehehe I went to see the latest movie…yeah the story about city life.. S€X and the City.. yes this is a story I can relate too, a single men living in the city. Hehehe…Carrie Bradshaw and BIG, Love the movie so much, plus the most touching statement in the Movie must be “20 something girl coming to the big city to find the two L, Label and Love.” For men I guess they looking for the Two F, Freedom and Fun..hehehe…Whut? Betul kan boys..?? hehehehe.. if I only can explain more how this movie touch me, Me looking for my BIG hehehe….

A new addiction for me, the “SUDOKU PUZZLE” I cant even sleep without finishing it, Warning..if you want to increase your logic skill which will greatly increase your other skill too after doing it for a while, do try this puzzle, but if don’t, better stay away, because it very addictive indeed.

Talking about logic, a bunch of us was sitting at a mamak stall the other day, a one of us was telling his relationship problem which confuse him so much. But it was very clear to me, another but, since I am very new in the group so I kept it to myself. But afterward, I told one of my friend about what I thought about his case. And he everyone agree “Dude she is messing with your head man!!” it was just logic, the only reason which you told us that was suppose to be the alibi for her did not make any sense dude..but I leave it to you to figure it out yourself.

I am goin to terengganu next week…..a week long course….damn and my classes is starting this week too..Oh yeah about that. To all my LCCI friends, yeap I am taking another one, this one is a complete set. See you guys on the May exam next year ok.


The Huggable Ben

Whut? I am still on a diet….

A friends ask me what is up with the food pic, and even gave me that look I mean “the look”.. and I say hey.. whut? Hehehe…

I had a friends visiting and it was his birthday, so why not rite, I fell in love with chili’s restaurant, the burger was fresh and cook to order, the mash potato and the chips was also very nice, with the bottomless juice drink, and the toilet inside the restaurant is was even better, spent more than 3 hours there, munching and drink and chatting.

The Dinner was a Chinese cuisine, although not really keen with the vegetable dishes the Deep fried Eel was really nice and the plain Montou really go nice with the sweet sour stew.. The fried tofu was also surprisingly delicious.

The weekend was nice and especially the food, hehehe, although I wish I could come up with a great burfday present for my dear friend.

FYI…, yes I am taking up sport other than bowling… why? Tak percaya kar? The picture tell all… The MPPJ Open tournament was great although almost lost my voice cheering for our team……take care y’all….!

Hugs and Muah!!

The Huggable Ben

If you only knew……

Well I am not the kind of person who would say “I told you so.. “ or my favorite “nah kan Butul bah!!” but we all must learn for yourself about the mistake that we made and face the consequences of our action. All I have to say is that, Dude learn from your mistake and move on with your life. It may seem that you are doom but trust me when one door close another will open. So Dude learn from it, so you won’t make the same stupid mistake again and move on.

After that been said, why have I been quite lately? Erm.. I don’t think I was, just that I couldn’t find enough time to write anything yet. So what have I been up to? Well I recently receive a dream dictionary, and actively using, and hey my interpretation is getting rite on target…so to say ler… hehehe

Cant wait for the next holiday trip which is next month… . and well white sandy beaches here I come hehehe…

Owh yeah, as a fan Of the teaching of Robert Kiyosaki, about the issue of oil prices and inflation and stuff, well that is why Robert say Financial Intelligent is the way to go… hehehe…

Got a hot date this weekend, jangan jeles hehehe……

Hugs and Muah to all

The Huggable Ben

Yeap Deman Lagi …..

Twice this year I got the fever although this time, my body seem to be stronger but it doesn’t stop the rashes. So for the pas two day my body was cover with calamine lotion, just to stop the rashes. It’s like a a Chinese opera actor, white all over….. hehehe.

Went to see a movie last nite, see my body is a bit stronger although facing a viral fever. Although the doc did not cancel out possible denggi fever. I think it just viral, cause I felt more stronger than during the first fever I had this year. I couldn’t even get up of the bed that time… eww.. sound kinky statement in other situation hehehe…

So what my plan for today? Well I think I just go lepak somewhere….

Erm… I like McBride, it a drama series in Hallmark channel, an investigation drama, exciting plus cute also.. hehehe…

I felt like eating a butter milk rice…eww….i just remember that I am still on a diet…hehehe….

The Huggable Ben

The Impossible hugs…..

Nope I did not go to the cinema last week to anyone who was wondering.. hehehehe( kantoi..!!) well besa ler.. liar semacam jer bebaru ni.. hehehe….

Where have I gone to? Well there was a lot of stuff I need to handle recently, and recuperate also, from my project’s, a few project I have planed and I was finishing up the final touch.

Major thing happening? Nothing really, just that I cancel my credit card recently.. Why?... I figure out that the card was a hole in my cash flow!(only those who read Robert Kiyosaki books understand this..) but it true, before I actualy can control myself, but recently? nope I almost reach rm1000 last month, aiyo… so bahaya…then I remember someone told me about the card trap and the cash flow theory… I realize is the rite thing to do…

What is with the title? Well I got an impossible hug just now, I been watching this person for some time , actually to be precise, since the ministry choir training, and finally I got the impossible hugs, although for that person, it was a friendly hugs, but well I am still blushing now, I mean it was really impossible to get that hug, hehehe.. I wanted that hugs to last longer but well.. hehehe… fun to blush after sometime……. Hehehehe… I am still happy and blushing, or as my friends say verangan….sanggat!!... hehehehe

Rasa cam nak gi shopping (opss lupa card dah potong… hahahaha…!!)


The huggable ben….also the cardless ben … isk……

Wow… I got my first client…!

Not really my client lar.. but I was thinking of creating my own agency, and my agency will be managing individual, preparing them for the job market, basically to finding them a job that suit them and their qualifications, just like Jobstreet, but more personnel with the client lar… creating a client friendly agency.

See I am evolving, now business minded already, hehehehe….

I am happy for Aishah my first success client, hope she be able to cope with her new career, now I still have a few left which I have kind of manager block, because unable to match anything for them yet. But all in all I am happy with it,

So to my friends, dah habis blajaq atau tgh cari keje tue, give me a msg yer… hehehe


The Huggable Ben

Whoops….a nice weekends indeed..

Lot’s of work for the past week, including the GOE-EGDMS course, which is like creating a Friendster account, just that, we can attach stuff for our bosses. I am not saying that the system is as user friendly as Friendster, but the system is pretty much the same.

At the last minute, have to travel, but well I would say a much needed trip, just to get away form it all, I came back this morning to find that my table is clean, of course I finish thing up last Friday before the trip, hehehe… see I am so efficient ( masuk bakul angkat sendiri siot!). Felt really good and even got in like before 7 am, record time for me, I was the second person to arrive at the office this morning. hehehe….this is only possible because the bus arrive early this time, was able to catch up the 1st bus to the office..hehehe…

How was the weekends, well let me see, after all that happen last week it was great just lay back and relax for a while get my mind back in line after such a stressful month I guess. I mean try losing all your important document and after that, try getting them all back, trust me you need the rest after that.

Last week after I got into such a hectic few last day of the week, I almost lose it I guess until I finally got the chance to “release it all” on a very hot session indeed, see, divine intervention, the big guy up there still love me, he send this little thing that perk you up, but you never seem to notice who is it from and what is it for. Although It was very naughty, it is what I needed to relax even more.. and the whole weekend, nothing was able to disturb me, accept that I forgot my dvd there, and I feet hurt from all the walking around the trip, “ouch!” Other than that it was a nice weekend trip indeed…


The Relax Huggable Ben

Geram……..sakit hati betul…..

This was a very unlucky day for me, really unlucky day siot.. jer….. baru jer tadi I realize that my wallet was stolen, I lost my identity card, my ATM card, few hundred cash and my charm… which I am really mad, cause I have to spend the whole day tomorrow, just to get back all the card, forget the cash that totally gone, but the effect to get back all the important document payah siot…plus the charm was reaaly one of it’s kind where am I gonna find that again.

Badan dah lemah dah ni…..takde tenaga dah nak pikiq….. was really mad at myself because I think this is the first time that I was really careless, damm careless indeed.
And that wallet was a present, a leather wallet lagi tue.. geram siot… geram sesanggat!!!!

A toast another hectic day ahead….may it be a learning day for me…


The Careless Huggable Ben

Over exceed myself…….

Today I find myself only able to finish 95% of my work, although I did some extra overtime because I have to attend a course today, I still unable to finish it, 3 hours of non stop work, still I end up 5 % short of completing everything. I felt a bit disappointed since someone had highly recommended me to a few head hunters, who actually offer a very good position indeed, but I “short of” already have a plan, just 8 more years to complete the process. But I am very thankful to who has recommended me to that company. If I was not attach to the government, I would have taken the post on the spot. Thank you very much.

When I reach home at 10 pm just now, my body was so tired, after my bath, it was straight to bed until well just now, when I woke up. I realize that over exceed myself today.

Maybe my workaholic-ism is just a defense mechanism, for me to keep my mind of something else. Like missing someone so much, that well it kind of hurt. But yeah until I find other ways to handle this, well work…work….work…

To another working day ahead… Hugs everyone!!

The Huggable Ben

Unnecessary guide…….

First of all I like to say thanks to all the well wishes from all of you, yeap I am doing better but still under observation, same goes to the recipient.

A tired early part of the week, Monday was a pre hectic day, then yesterday a full live hectic day then today which suppose to be the resting period, did not turn as well as I thought. Did not get the much needed rest just an hour of nap, before lunch. And back to back to work…… a bit feverish but well nothing the “Penadol Soluble” cant fixes.

Before I went back home just now, was checking on my email and messages, and then yet a again a friend, who is still trying to “GUIDE” me the way… for salvation or something which I don’t condone, just that every thing you try dear it just show that you are the one who is not sure of the path your taken, I wont be surprise that one day I meet you at the place where you always oppose, because of it deviate nature.. But I sense from all your massage, there is a deep hidden lust to do those entire things you always advise me not to do.

Whut ever lar my dear friend, there is no right and wrong to this, just a matter of time, I do appreciate you worry about my spiritual guide, but well I hope that you find you true self and then accept that we all have our own path that we take to walk. And as I say I am an angel in the making, all wings and HALO hehehehe…..

A Passionate thought…….

It the day I have been waiting for, the day when I could cuddle you warm body, your arms around me and that sweet lips whisper the word “I miss you”. The sweetness overwhelms me, and I am diabetic so to much sweetness can make me lose control.

The cold night air, make your warm body the most comfortable thing to hug and those sweet lips, is the best candy to kiss and lick. When it our tongue touches the energy surrounds our body forming a unbreakable bond of passion and lust.

For hours I would cuddle with you, knowing that it might not be something I would able to do as often as I wanted, for you are not mine, but I cherish each second of it.

Of the entire thing I have done in my life, this is the one thing I will never regret. One passionate night with you.


P/s and they say I am not romantic… apa ler…belum cuba belum tau sudah cuba hari2 mau tau!! Hehehehe

The Huggable Ben

Very long weekends….

Well the weekends Is pretty long indeed, so I guess a bit extended holiday trip would not hurt, it did not, but got injured while walking during the trip, which is like really lame since It was my own fault not looking at where I was walking. But well nak buat cam ner kan... but the trip did show me something which well I did not aspect to witness.

That someone was with someone else, but the thing is, that person keeps on trying to get my attention, it’s cute but well I have to wonder why? Your new partner is there what? The thing is as much as I try to avoid you, you still keep on trying and your partner can see that too, I won’t be surprise if you had a big fight after that. I means paying for my lunch, constantly trying to sit beside me on the table, and that caring gesture(i.e asking if my feet still hurt and all) come on of course ler dier will notice it. Who wouldn’t?

Don’t get me wrong, it was sweet of you but well, as I say, there nothing there anymore, you better off with your new one okay….but thank you for being so sweet. Hope both of you don’t get into a big fight. See I am good what..? angel in the making, halo and wings, hehehe….

Something big happening soon, gonna tell you guys later… what is it…

The Huggable Ben

Nothing to do….so Project Runaway…

Had nothing to do all night, I just got the whole season 7 CSI collection, but I left it at the office, since that the only thing going to keep me occupied when there is nothing to do.

I had to go overboard just now, because stupidly one of my new boss was too gullible to listen to other before consulting anyone else, plus I mean I don’t study computer science, But I least I know something about computer, don’t think just because I watch anime, means I am immature. O.M.G Bodoh Betul……..

Since there is nothing to do tonight, I was watching Project Runaways, and whut do you know a contestant name Chris March, who was sent home tonight. But his cheerful view and well creativity move me, If only he design for plus size male model!! Hehehehe!! Well we dare to dream rite.

During lunch today, I was out to lunch with one of my classmate, which struck me with a comment which actually really hurt, But well I cant really say that he was wrong cause I was the stupid one’s, I am afraid to start something new, still hopeful for something that is really out of reach and commitment issue. Ewww……this is so not the fun huggable Ben rite talking about this, hehehe…. So that another thing I never seem to grow up, its much more fun like this and less more stressful. So just let me keep the hope and knowing my limits and well never seem to settle down… hehehe… that me…


The Huggable Ben

What was I thinking?

A n ice week actually I got so into my job that I did not even realize that it wasw the weekends, yesterday I got a epiphany, I realize something was a miss, something that did not register in everyone else normal psychic but It does in mine, strange huh?

Love life is a complicated one it seem, you in love with someone who is not returning that same feeling to you, so what was I thinking still clinging to that person? Why do I still hold the hope that maybe I may get back with that person.

Those you ever been in love would understand this, sometime when we in love we do stupid stuff, that is why, my heart is afraid of being alone and it keep saying that just keep some hope alive, just in case.

I could not say it, I am scared that the hope would die out if I did, so rather than saying it to the person I rather just be there, at least I wont be alone, even with that tiny flame of hope. I guess I was destined to be a lonely person, I traveling monk kind of destiny. But no matter what my heart still say, just cling to that hope, maybe one day! Just in case, we have a chance to have it in our arms those warm and strong hugs!.....

P/s Don’t even bother asking why I wrote this, It was the epiphany I had ok!!


The Huggable Ben

The weekends Getaways….

Owh….. you were waiting for my blog on the new pics huh? Hehehe ala letak komen jer ler … but thanks “e” from the pics, he was using this kwel camera, DSLR I think, never would have thought that it turn out that good.

Why do I say it was that good, I have a friends who boyfriends are a photographer for a modeling agency here in Kuala Lumpur, who comment that the pic, add a bit touch up make up, and it might just be good enough to be on a magazine.. wakakaka harus kembang cam belon trus ben.

Last weekend was a real holiday, just me and friends at a waterfall, overnight , playing poker, video and gossip.. whole night long, plus it was a personal victory for me to overcome something that at first I thought it was hard for me, turn out, I was able to withheld the urge, although I see that individual was trying hard to get my attention. It was for the greater good that I place an ignore sign. Wut ever lar… janji I enjoy myself, all refresh for the days ahead.

I was diagnose with a Calcium Deficiency which turn out to be the cause for my bowling score to drop, and sleepless night and knee injury.. but I had a good night sleep last night, and well all are good, accept that my boss is a bit in a bad mood. So kene berhati2 today.. hehe.. although he did give a smile ths morning for no reason, hope not a evil smile ..hehehe

That all from me

Malaysia Top Plus Size Male Model

The Huggable Ben

Nope you still taste nice…

I was at work when everyone was on holiday… I am not sure why, but I need to catch up since these pass few days I was not feeling very well, and my work was back lag so much that I needed a day to catch up, and I found out that although I was back lag for like three days, I was able to catch up in like 5 hour of uninterrupted work….”uninterrupted” mean, interrupted by people, I switch on a movie, and work through it, to keep my barring and focus at work and it work.

Wow….I surprise even myself, but all in all I was a fun day, It was like a picnic, I bought lunch and a drink and I put the movie on loud speaker, when the other staff are around you can never do that, and start doing my work… and I was doing it until there was nothing else to do, It was fun indeed.. hehehe I know now that the working part in my life is not the one that stress me out it the people that sabotage it, that always stress me out, but what the heck. Today is labor day and I honor it by working to my full potential,

I end this one with a comic I just read, It was just so touching, there is this cute old couple, the wife ask the hubby if the soup was nice, the husband say “good, but I cant really say, I guess I don’t taste a good as I do”. The wife bend over “ let me have a taste” she gave him a smooch and say “ nope dear you still taste nice…..” awh….. so cute!!!!

Yeah… you still taste nice…..!! smooch!!!


The Huggable Ben

I am unwell….

I am unwell….

A few friends sms me just now.. I am sorry that I was late in replying, a bit unwell today… I think I am coming down with a fever, body in warm but I felt cold, headache too…,

The biggest sign of an upcoming fever is “ I lost my appetite” did not take any rice today, just water… body well a bit wuzzzy…

Lack of staff in the unit again, although at a slow phase… work must be done I guess….

I can even do this blog…… I am so weak rite now….

Going to go home now…

P/s at a time like this I wish I have someone to cuddle, but since I don’t, so virtual hugs to everyone!!

The Unwell but Huggable Ben

Nite of warmth and cuddles….

I cant believe that I am doing another one… but today seem to start very slow.. then makin hot until I came back just now, which is 2.32am… yeap…it was a hot nite.. indeed…..

This kind of thing always happen during the weirdest timing, after I finish my online mania at Times square.. I went to have my dinner where a faithfull meet up with someone, that I never tought I never see again….. so we catch up on a few stuff..then… one thing lead to another.. and I came back at 2.32 am hehehehe I even got something to commemorate the nite…. So my secretary friends.. tomorrow we have a show and tell ok.. hehehehe I know I am like so hot rite now… (Paris Hilton Slang….) oh yeah I mean I am done for the day…. but I got so much energy left…. Hehehe…and since I cant think of anything else to do to, I am doing another one…

I not sure if any of you agree with me, but since it was a nice thing that happen, I guess someone up that is giving me a nudge! Cheering me up!! Saying that nice things does happen to people like me, I wish my campus friends was around, cerita… mesti panjang…. Well since in 3 hour I have to go to work I better get to bed now…

Hugs to all…God Bless!!!!

The Huggable Ben

The Weekends......

Had a nice visitor last Friday… hehehe, fun nite indeed… but then the weekend came and i just realize I don’t have anything plan at all, so lar boring pastu…

Jalan2 to some of the college around kl on Saturday, just looking and droping something off there.. after that I went back to my room and stay almost for the rest of the day.. indoor, strange how time seem to move so fast, when we are not waiting for anything, next thing I know, it was Saturday nite, and because I was not planning to watch the concert tonite, I took to the street, went to pasar malam Kuala Lumpur, which bring back memories……

But well nothing much to see there, just people watching and well cheap food… hehehe tell you the truth the food was really nice..but the thing is, to take it back home was a bit messy, to much sauce .. hehehehe.. . Plus after you done with all those food you need to clean them up or the ants be up your room..hehehe…

So today seem to be a slow day, so I decide to go online…at Starbuck… hehehehe I know I told you guys I am broke, but well you see I just buy a cup of coffee and “bang!!” non stop online mania… plus the wireless signal seem to be very fast today, I was able to download a few episoded from my latest craze favorite show…”Ghost Hunters”.. they don’t actually catch or hunt ghost but the investigation and the reveal part always interest me.

Plus I finally can update some of my profile, like friendsters, Hi5 and many more…. It been while, been a bit bz, with the new system I am developing for the office, not really in a stable mode yet. Plus there are always “hantu stoking” lurking there, waiting to ruin everthing.

But well whutever it is, I try to make everything as stable as possible, P/s this is not a computer system k, hehehe The GOE-EDGMS is going to be on soon but until that happen, I can only hope on my manual system…

Wow…did I told you that they try to cut the communication and the stuff I do in the office… but they don’t know that I was using other system that bypass almost everything that can be block, just that recently the securities was a bit week.. so I use the simplest connections, Stupid tul peg and hantu stoking tue.. korang blok aku, korang pun kene blok sama… bodoh….tul!!! hehehehehe… plus I still can connect and so does my friends because kteorang dah lama buat benda ni……..wakakakakaak… just cant wait to see their face when they see that I still can chat, when they all cant anymore…. Wakaakakakakakaka…….

Ops I sound so evil huh??? Hehehehe….

That me

The Huggable Ben

27 Dresses…..

I can spend the whole nite talking about this movie, cant believe that I finally found the one movies that tell a lot about myself and the character turn out to be a girl… owh my…. Totally ler….Ironic….Katherine Heigl was great in Knocked up , she was great in 27 dresses too

The movie is like my favorite anime where every time we watch it. It just tell you more about yourself. By the way my favorite anime is fruit basket…..

I felt Jane pain when she went in the restaurant and her prince charming was waiting there and it there was a proposal for marriage and suddenly the man of your dream say ”ops, she not the one, wrong girl…” AUCH!!!

And the part when she found out about Kevin who actually her favorite writer…”it like finding out your favorite love song was about a sandwich” hehehe…..i don’t know why, but it sound funny to me.….

But my favorite line as single person are..” Yes, yes it is, but then I remember that I got to have hot heat sex with random stranger and I felt so much better”… yeah this one was a great line….

I can spend the whole nite talking about the movie, believe me I can…. It just great to find another great movie.. Here my list of great movie… movie that have inspire some part of my life…

You Got Mail (The one is so beautiful), Shrek (funny yet romantic), Tattoo a Love Story (another great romantic funny movie, the one that make you say awh…..), Homeless to Harvard (very motivational) and now my dear friend we have 27 Dresses…..


The Huggable Ben

Just a sad day…….

I am not sure why I felt sad? I try to tell myself, that it all ok, I want to say that I don’t even care, that I don’t need that person, problem is I don’t need that person but I do care…..

Could it be that I am just jealous? It might be, that I am just jealous, but I felt jealous before, I doesn’t felt like this, I want to be nice.. I want to be friendly, but I have to be nasty, because that the only way,

I am not hurt in any way, just that I am sad, that I can’t be myself, I can’t be to caring of someone because that person is someone else’s, it unfair of me to interfere, although that person try so hard trying to get my attention, I just can’t, I am sorry, I am very sorry…..

By the looks of it, you happy rite? So just maintain being happy ok, with me you just making things hard on yourself.

Let me be me, here and alone, I learn it for some time now, that I was destined to be lonely, so let it be ok, just let it be, I am able to move on, why cant you? Just let go ok….

Well there you go, that Ben I guess. FYI I did not run from a fight…..it not even my fight, that person make it clear that I was not eligible to fight……

Just need to let it out guys….. hugs!!!!

The Huggable Ben

The Burfday blog….

Well… now….first of all I like to thanks everyone for all the well wishes on my burfday…. My sis for the card and my special friend for dinner last nite.

So what happen on my burfday? Well, I took early off yesterday after a hefty meeting, so I can get myself all freshen up, pampered myself the whole afternoon, with facial and pedicure session (I rarely do this, but I found a spa that have it especial for men….), then I had a nice dinner with my friend, where we have to much cheese….., Well I had fun for pampering myself that afternoon and just a nice dinner afterward, it does sound not much happening but I like it that way.

What else happen?, Grissom from CSI proposed to Sarah last nite, was a cute episode… hehehe…After that I felt to tired… went to bed directly…..woke up at like 6.30am and almost miss my bus to work.. lucky I did not.

Had numerous call, sms, and email, try to reply to all but if I was unable to, really sorry guys…

What the present I got this year… well was not hoping for anything, but I may get one always wanted mobile phone… hehehe…. I did get a White Primrose bouquet this morning, which like shock me cause it was sent to my office, and its not really a local flower… FYI: white primrose is the birthday flower for 26 march, if you a witch if would be Henbane flower… hehehe…but you don’t want to receive henbane on you special day.. hehehe… Who sent it? Well …it a secret….let’s just say… strange but well I am thankfull, I know not easy to find them….Plus… a card would be less troublesome rite… cian jer susah2..

I am 25 this year, felt so old and daddy already….. hehehe…..


Thanks again all!!

HUGS AND MUAH!!!

The Huggable Ben

Why…? Kenapa….?

Ben tak paham napa perlu sakitkan hati ben? Why? Ben dah buat sedaya upaya untuk just let it go, apa lagi yang nak dari diri ben?

Nak ben nangis2, sedih selalu? Mengingati kenangan2 lepas, the one that I was not able to get?,

Ben ada pendiriran baru, don’t cry over spill milk… Just go buy a new bottle, there you go, so please don’t try to hard to show me what I miss, because you not irreplaceable (to the right, to the right~~ beyonce) ikut lirik tue, I can get anyone in a minute,

You special, I have to say that, but it just not meant to be, so like, you know just stop it… stop hopping that I will chase after you, cause for me…. If you come to me…. you’re here…when you there….you there…..stop thinking that my life resolve around you….cause is not.

I appreciate what you did but….come on, honestly you just got the trill of me chasing you rite..? well I am bored of it…

So thanks for everything……


Just Me

The Huggable Ben

Had a wonderful day…..

Last Wednesday, had a wonderful day indeed, never thought that it was going to turn out that way, it start with a simple dinner and a simple mistake, but then It lead to a wonderful and beautiful nite and day….

Since this year I was not fully involved with the maulud nabi march, so did not have any plan at all, thought just going to lepak kat rumah and enjoy the off day, little did I know it turn out to be a great day…..

I am still smiling until today although I was left behind by other, they took and extra leave, I don’t mind, I had just routine task to do, and the rest I was just sitting and watching youtube…..smiling because of the best time I had yesterday.

Never realize how much a kiss and a hugs worth…. until you not getting any, but when you got it, I was like have a cold lemon tea drink on a hot sunny day…. Hehehe enjoyable day so far this year!!!! TQ…….!!

HUGS!!!! And MUAH!!!!!

Just me…..

Huggable Ben….

I need a hug……

A weekend that I wish would never end, but it was something that never meant to be, but I enjoyed it while it last nevertheless , because It’s a felling that I have not felt for a very long time.

A very slow Monday, last nite was a cold nite but not like the one I like, cause, although it’s cold, don’t have a warm hugs around me, maybe I was just something that was really enjoyed and hoped to last, hehehe but well what can we do.

It was fun yesterday, bought myself a cup of coffee and then used their wireless connection at starbuck time square for the whole day, which I was mainly fighting the virus which was attacking my laptop…. Peh… dah ler tak power sanggat knowledge in computer stuff… But had a nice CUCI MATA session cause lots of cute people was around, “see but no touch” ewww… sound bad huh? Hehehe.. that me I guess,

Office seem to be empty, since almost half of the staff went for a course, but fun, just that a bit too quite…. Hehehe, did not even see my boss today, I not sure where he is…. Fun part got to tikle Bos Ikan Keli(according to usmang) ear just now, hehehe… owh…so bad….

I am the team manager for the TUG OF WAR event in the next Dept sport day, but I lose semangat because, teluk intan is not coming to the games, so what the point, wawawa……

Suddenly I felt I need a hugs….

That me

The Huggable Ben

The Most Weirdest and Tiring Two Days Ever….

Ok at last someone ask about the diet program, thanks dayah…. Hehehe, I only manage to reduce 1 kg after 3 weeks of diet, but as I said before the diet result main objective is not losing weight one but other smaller goal too.., I manage to save 10% of my pay last month, those who understand financial planning I am at a you can do better stage, but at lest not worse.. hehehe… and the weight training has really increases my upper torso stamina, after doing 10 pump for each arm for each style, this week I try 20 pump, and yes I think I can actually reach 30 pump but, that be a bit to much……. Don’t want to hurt myself….. so overall it is improvement.. though yesterday the doc did suggest to me to using a pill to massively reduce my weight, but I need discipline myself on food intake and lifestyle before using that drug. ….end of diet report…. Hehehe

Ok why did I say it was the most weirdest and tiring two days ever this year so far…..
Because the last two days I was down with fever, actually it started on Tuesdays, but I was still able to overcome it, then suddenly Wednesday, I could not even stand the air-conditioning of the office, I was force to take a nap at the prayer room, then I went to the doc, and he say I have a fever plus a high blood pressure 140/90, he gave me a bunch of med, that actually cause me to be a bit tired all the time, although I took the whole day off yesterday, I was mainly sleeping in my room, damn tired…I went out late afternoon yesterday for some dinner and a movie(which really s**k! Don’t watch the movie “ANAK” it s**K!) cam back at around 9pm, again was really tired, the last thing I remember was watching the series CSI:NY then blank, and I woke up this morning to find my room was clean, my cloth was fold tidily and my sweater was hung on the wall…and other stuff was move as well like I remember I was sleeping on the couch that nite, but found myself on my bed, further more with a change of clothes . I don’t remember doing any of it, I guess I was sleep walking…..but well it was weird…… so there you go weird and tiring two days ever…

The huggable Ben

p/s Let Vote for our nation prosperity and peace… vote for whoever you wish!! Hehehehe!!

this one about me....

Hi, my name is: Joven

but you can call me: Ben [the
huggable]

Never in my life have I: Drive Drunk

The one person who can drive me nuts
is: the person who i make out for 4 hours.....

My high school is: Sm.ST MARY LIMBAHAU PAPAR

When I’m nervous: i tend to eat a lot...plus drink a lot of sweet beverage.....

The last song I listened to was:
Miley cyrus [see you again]

If I were to get married right now it
would be to: someone who is caring and compasionate plus a muct be chumel....

My hair is: black and short...thinking of having highlight soon...

When I was 4: i was as cute as can be...what jealous ka?....

Last Christmas: i had a big party at my house...

I should be: a porn movie actor...but i choose to be a secretary.....

When I look down I see: my tummy then my ****, owh… so cute.....(pervert!!! it my toes lar...)

The happiest recent event was:
New year dinner at my new renovated house!!!

If I were a character on ‘Friends’ :
Chandler...he is the smart one.... hehehe

By this time next year: i be sitting at my desk working....

My current gripe is: erm....what is that huh?

I have a hard time understanding:
my office......to much politics

There’s these girl: who is not a girl but a old lady that always try to find my fault.

If I won an award, the first person I
would tell would be: My parents....and the the world...yes everyone vote for me...world peace!(wave......!)

I want to buy: a PS 3 and a laptop

Where do you plan to visit: JAPAN..

If you spent the night at my house:
we chat for hours....and if the chemistry is rite.. romance.... wakakakakaka

The world could do without: War

Most recent thing I’ve bought
myself: A erterniy summer for men perfume

Most recent thing someone else bought
me: a 8 eye dzi and a pink quarts bracelets...

My middle name is: Maro the cutest!!

In the morning I: am not gonna say what i do

Last night I was: a wonderfull nite, i was raining and a nice sold nitgh sleep.. nyeyak siot!!..

There’s this guy I know who: is giving out the wrong signal toward me...even though he denied, tapi stilll giving the signal...trough his action...

If I was an animal I’d be a:
eagle....fly high up in the sky,

A better name for me would be: My name have a great meaning....no other name suit me i guess

Tomorrow I am: having my service exam....

Tonight I: think i sleep early

My birthday is: in the 5th days after the 21st day of the third month of the year..

I am a bit lonely……

Yesterday, I took a long walk from BTS to the nearest Lrt station, and all the way I was thinking abt myself, in a few weeks I finally entering my 25 year in this life…..

And a sudden emotion shock came over me.. like an a empathy reaction…. I suddenly realize…I was alone…. None was there but me…..,

I have my family, and ton of friends yet…… why did this emotion came over me…..,

There was a theory of needs, for every human, the is a special need, from food, cloth, a roof over you head, socialize and to be love…

When we were young the love portion of these need can be fulfill by our family, but as we grow up, the need became more and more personal, plus the body biology also isn’t helping, urge came fort and new thing to explore…..

I realize by the time I am 25 the need of having someone special it’s not yet fulfill, and I felt so lonely, walking around on my own…..

I do have a few candidates, but I really can get pass the fear to choose one and settle down… I am more happy being single mingle and tingle…yet this felling of being so lonely…..maybe I should trust cupid again…… Aphrodite does smile and, love does exist even for me……. ….

So jiwang? Because it the end of love month soon plus today is Chap Goh Mei, if I am not mistaken is the Chinese version of valentine day, so I make a tribute to love.

I do believe there is one person that is true rite for me out there, would I find that person? I am not sure, but I am going to sit down and wait…..while I have some fun…..when that special one comes…..that is the time when I stop……

P/s to know how bad am I? last night I had two phone dates one after another….and tonight? another outing ……

Hugs to everyone

Huggable Ben

Post Holiday Blues…….

Hi all well, it was a long holiday hugs, and some people even took extra days, for me the long holiday was well slow..

Sis Jess Came down to Kl, The cinema was full for the last 4 days…. So did not do any movie watching, just had a fun time with friends, like joe, abr and friends, thank reeze blanja Pizza….and J.CO Donat are like so hard to buy, the line are so long…..By the way Pavilion seem to be to crowded…. Like BTS more... although Pavilion is a place to be seen I mean all the artis are there….hehehe..cam ler kte minat sanggat kan…..

Other than that just had too much rest I guess. Hehehe..

So what my plan for valentine? I am not sure yet, but maybe just hang out at the “loft” hehehe….only few understand…..Jeng3x

Diet report……. Up until 7 February 2008, it was going great, then it change, during the holiday, I know but problem I still keep up the other program and today my diet is back on…. Doing weight training twice daily, and kindda felt the extra stamina, and the current weight still 125kg, but well it was just two weeks rite, so let wait next month report K!

The Huggable Ben

I Hate You….!!!!

Kalau awak benci kat kiter sanggat… apsal tak katakan jer?

Kalau kte buruk sanggat…. Apsal tak katakan awal2…..

Kenapa perlu berpura-pura?.....

Kenapa perlu orang lain yang berkata-kata?’

KENAPA…….?

Kalau kte tau wak benci kte… tak kte ganggu awak

Kalau Kte tau wak tak suka… tak kte kesah kat awak…

Tapi kte memang sayang awak…….walaupun awak benci….

Memang kte takkan kacau awak lagi…buat pe lukakan hati…

Bior kte sayang dari jauh…mengenang memori indah abadi……
Just say “I Hate You….” Kan lebih senang…..

Kte seedy ler wak….wawawawawawaawa……

The Huggable Ben

P/s kat blog siap ada pic yang seswai lagi…..gi arr tgk!....wawawawa sedey…….

I am So ANGRY...........

I am so angry yesterday... had a meeting with the boss, and he criticizing my unit, while the fault was from other unit.... why wrong with him?

i really don't understand it, i remember when i tried to apply for my Xmas holiday, he told me that i took to many holiday, but the strange thing was, i was saving all that holiday just for that reason, why other can and i could not? stupidly yesterday, he was the one who suggest that if any of us want to take long holiday, We can just make sure there is replacement and our job are all done... Boleh plak tetiba......!!! Argggggggghhhhh!!!!! malas ler!!! bodoh nak mampus tul....

Now my service record book has gone missing, i am not sure where, but luckily i have a photocopy copy, so am safe.... tak payah nak pikir2 lagi, now , just photograph is needed...need to see the JPA people as soon as possible...

one of my friends just got transfer, Luckily guy!! tapi problem is , kurang ler kaki kang... glad for him and hope the replacement is a good as he is....

am broke this month, really broke...... hehehe cant wait for my next payday... hehehe.....

The Ben Chumel

After the new year.......

After the new year.... when all seem to settle down, was wondering what new for this year... seem to be a very slow start.....

Went to penang for a suprise visit, did not plan anything... but well got a fun weekend indeed, went to bukit hijau waterfall, had a picnic, and cudlle with warmth of a strong hand.... hehehe see fun what!!

After almost 3 month my thought have not ballance out yet.. still have the jitter, although just discover a few new skill like dowsing and all...have i told you guys i was accepted in a coven? yet.. no cloth..no robe jus a piece of white cloth to wear and a red one for the spirit energy.... kinda cool i guess, but well very new member....

My old bos got transfer to a new dept... nice.. not yet to neutralize the poison of the other two.....wow that deeps man, really deep....

nothing much but to do list this year....

1. Get a full driving license

2.learn a new language

3.get a new qualification..

4.get confirm

5.Travel Oversea....

Ben Chumel