Swept Away...

Recently I felt that I was swept away, swept away from something that I was supposed to be focusing on. 

How come this be? Although I still able to cope with the current yet I felt I getting farther away from my main goal. This is not got not good at all but then I realize that I don’t have an anchor strong enough to keep me in my main course.

I miss my two anchor, both lost following the course of time in which both taken their own way. I never thought that an independent person like me could be so dependent on another individual. I really used up their aura when they were around and now that they far away although still reachable still felt the lost.

Wake up Ben!!!!... it already half way through the semester... we need to focus on our studies totally need to focus!!.. huhuhu...

Let’s Lay it down..

We have ;-

Psychology- Research/Presentation/Quiz and final {READING}

Government and Politics- 3 Case study/Presentation/ Quiz and Final {READING}

 Managerial Communications-Group assignment/Individual/Presentation and Final {READING}

Writing For Public Relations-8 Assignments and Final Test {Writing}

Hurm...Sheeting my shinobi sword...LET DO IT!!! HHHUUAAARRRGG!!!!!

The Huggable Ben

I am still finding my rhythms

I am still at a state of limbo I guess, haven’t really found my rhythm at the new place. I have to admit that it is nice here, but as I say I haven’t found my rhythms yet.

This even show up in my sleeping pattern, normally I get home and directly fall asleep because of the hectic-ness but well at the new place I am more of slow and steady pace. But for someone who had already been used to the hectic-ness. I am well a bit. Blur by the change.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that I don’t like it here. Just that maybe I miss my old friends there. I have new friends now, but well i guess this is another phase that I had to go through in my life, In order to grow wise like the old oak tree.

But I think I am getting there already, I am trying to find ways to make my task more realisable and doing much more than normal yet not to much that it that it would be overwhelming huhuhu..

Although I am thinking on how to make the most of my free time since travelling time had been reduced dramatically hehehehe... neyway glad that I getting along...

The Huggable Ben

The dream...

Well my last post was about my Facebook acc was hacked, I guess it is just a font for the admin to check whether or not you are a human or a cloned account for someone who is stalking someone else hahaha...

Well at dawn I had a weird dream... a very weird dream indeed, but I like the dream alot, because it was something I wanted to do for such a long time yet unable to do so because well “moral constraint” hahahahaha... owh come on it is not a notti stuff, it a cute stuff butt well I don’t think the general population would be able to accept it huhuhu... but the dream spark something in my heart, it make me care for something which I normally stay away from.  But that just me I guess, always have that one time, where it start popping up once in a while, I'll buried it soon in some way, so it would not end up hurting my heart again .... huhuhu, this is all because I started the dream enhancer ritual which supposed to increased your awareness during a dream which meant you have total control, yeah that be nice if it really does work rite? But the dream was very nice indeed, I like it so much huhuhu. Because ? as i had say just now, something that I would like to do but unable to do so because of “Moral Constraint”...erm.. I wish I could tell someone about it but the rule is, until I fully understand the massage the dream brings, it could never be told to anyone.

It the Raya Season, food is abundance during this season, so of course we have to see what we eat so that we would not overdo ourselves, but yeah this is the season to break the rule. I love all the Raya food around me hehehe. But tomorrow is blood works day and let see if the doctor is in favour of the result or not ... but I need to change my meds so I can manage my diabetic better I guess.. huhuhu~~

The Huggable Ben

MY FB ACC WAS HACKED!!!

Doing this post to inform that my FB account was hacked at 4pm 29 august 2012, anything where from me is not me but from the hacker...

peh...fofular siot aq sampaki Acc nak kene HACK.....

Aisey!!!

Thank You St Jude!!

I Promise that when I start the novena I would invoke people to pray to St Jude. Yes The Patron Saint of lost cause. When everything seems to be have no hope and miracles would appear.

But yes, being a Neo-Hermit myself (what that? If you don’t understand what it is, then you won’t understand If I explain it either) I would be lying if I say I have my doubt, but if your sincere with your request and understand the implication of it. You would be able to see the gift which no one else would be able to.

For Example, you hungry, so you ask for KFC, you may not get KFC but maybe you meet someone whom might bring you to KFC and buy you a dinner plate... that now what happen to me I am just giving a simple example for you to understand.

So I am Posting this in my blog.. to say Thanks to St Jude, for I had ask you see in my heart what I really need and help me to find what I had lost which is “passion”..

With a sincere heart and lots and lots of patient.. My prayer was answered..Thanks you Saint Jude!!!! Through your intercession he had answered me.....Thanks you again

MGBU everyone!!!!

June of unsettling emotion

I think this more is my lowest month indeed, i did not think I could be so low after been at the place for more than 5 years.

 I could not believe that at the moment when the last person of significant had left, i was the new target of the devils eyes. I thought to myself that this could'nt be happening after all this time of avoiding the devils eyes. But I have to accept that I am one of those people who was on the list and is was a matter of time before that devils eyes would turn to me.

At this time I am home sick because I really wanted a holiday from all this shit. But I wasn't able to do that. I could not believe that this month would be the month with so many shit happening at the same time. I totally think that i need a long rest.

I was so stress that I almost resign there and then. I know it was crazy, but I was so stress up, and there was nothing else I could think to do. Thanks for the call form ayah, that cool me off a bit and finally i ask to be given a sign to help me discern, what am i suposed to do.

And finally I saw the fourt and the fifth sign actually, and made up my mind. I decide it is time for me to leave my secondary nest.

 In five year, I have seen all those who had been with me in high and low here, move to greener pasture, I might not know if the condition of a new place would be better of worse than the old nest. But at least I can find new experience and things to learn and new people to meet.

 The old nest have thought me a lot of skills and I had observed lot of people behaviour to trained myself on how to dealt with them. I wish that I would never have to move because honestly there are people who are dear to me there but I lost the passion I had once in that place.

 So I pray that I would find a new place where I can be more myself than where I am today. I pray that I be as happy as I was before, like when waking up in the morning and the secondary nest is where i want to be.

Would I be sorry? probably but that is a risk I am willing to take and face by myself.

 The Huggable But Emotional Ben

The May Day!

Why do i say so? Well is was a sudden hectic month. Honestly i did not anticipated it to be a hectic month indeed. 1st i got my Mandarin course to handle. Plus the project which hasn’t finish yet until now, i cant seem to finish them, ad hoc jobs seem to pop up everytime i have a free time to do it.

The assigment submiting month is also may, all final assigment are to be submited by this end of this month. So yes apart of the project we still have the assigment, also need to put more focus in to it too. With the test and much more to do i am sure i am overwhelm by it.

The there is the health issue that pop up also this month, the doc pre diagnose me to have OSA, which is Obstructive Sleep Apnea, means i did not have enough oxygen went i sleep. The test to comfirm it is ok but the problem if the test prove positive the machine to rectify the problem cost 8 grand...shock me indeed! But if it will effect my health i have to do it also. I could apply for funding but this will requiere mork task to do..... there is just not much free time in may\

The other task that i was involve would be MAHA Choir, and APC Choir plus the Dj on Hari Jutaan Belia, which i all because my passion to sing and all hahahaha i was Blinded by the light of “Fame” hahahhaha...

And that all i have at the moment, i need to go back and do more asignment hohooo....

The Huggable Ben