This is me…..

This is me..this is who I am…..what I wanted to say is, in the past I change myself, so that I could complement other. But all that sacrifice doesn’t mean shit, so I come to a conclusion, why should I change for anyone? Why? Because in the end it would just backfire and hurt rite in the heart, where all the emotion is store….

That is why something people say that I am shallow when in come into the matter of the heart. With all the relationship I enter I am hurt in almost each one. I still believe in love but at the moment my heart can’t really handle it. If I could show you how my heart looks like, you might see something like it came out of a war.

As a healing, I gather a lot of friends, because next best family friends are the next best thing. Because they are there in you low and up. I am a shoulder to cry on because I know when I need it, they be there to give their shoulder for me to cry on.

I can’t change for anyone, because this is me, you accept me as I am. If you can’t.. I did not force you too.. Because this is me, myself, it took a lot of effort to strengthen my heart to face this harsh world. And I am still not fully healed to face another emotional attack.

Accept me for what I am, and I promise you, you will earn a royal and caring friend…


The Huggable Ben

I Prove It.....

Yesterday I was able to prove to myself that I have move on, about one issue. Best sangat I finaly got to put an fullstop on it. Tapi secara tetiba biler issue tue bagi pendapat ben ler dah selesai, my heart suddenly hurt (not from the medical point of view!)

Jadi I took the nite life of kl, Gi explore the nite life of the city…Peh..tak sanggat jumpa ramai plak ex classmate, siot jer korang kan…. Harus baik gilos tahap naga kat kampus tapi kat luar aiyoo…..

The friends, the loud music, the free style dancing, even the poco-poco… which is hilarious….. Really put a healing balm on my heart.. hehehehe…

Although rasa cam light headed trus balik jam 5 pagi tadi, it really takes my mind off the issue at hand. Skrang the rest of my friend is still sleeping.

Jumpa ngan member2 lama semalam betul melancholic sanggat.. dah dewasa kite skrang kan… hehehe….classmate sekolah menengah mana korang semua biler nak buat gathering. Teman Kolej…. Dah banyak jumpa semalam biler planning buat gath plak?

Hehehe ……I felt better this morning… although rasa cam burn out skit.. nothing medication can handle.. ehehe

Ben

Nervous (Gemuruh)….tapi napa erk?

Sooryy the 1st blog entry for 2009 nine is upload only after 16 days hehehe.... to much stuff to say but to little time...

Dalam pengalaman ben, perasan Nervous ni cuma berlaku biler kte akan jumpa ngan seseorang atau sesuatau keadaan yang akan mengubah kehidupan kita atau pandangan ben terhadap sesuatu, Paling latest ialah The Bowling tournament biler ben dapat lihat dan kesan perubahan sikap seorang kawan yang selama ini cuba untuk sembunyi perasaan beliau dengan berlagak agak sombong. But It’s nice to say that the real person came out eventually.

Tapi Gemuruh yang ben rasa dari semalam agak lain skit. Sebab Gemuruh ni mmg sanggat kenal, tapi tak mungkin sebab ben dah buat perasaan ni jauh2, Isk tak nak ler jadi cam kawan yang tetiba jer menghilangkan diri beliau tanpa sebab. Mungkin it’s a start of a brand new friendship or business venture, tapi still ben rasa hairan dengan gemuruh yang ben rasa skrang. Dalam kepala, betul ker ni? Boleh caya ker ni? Hehehehe…. Lucu biler difikirkan, cam budak2 plak… apa2pun ben harap perbincangan kali ni lebih menarik dari yang lepas, tahun ni cam belum ada pekara yang menarik berlaku, mungkin hari ni? Sapa tahu kan? aii masih gemuruh ler… nak gi minum ler… hehehe… Have a nice weekend everyone!!

The Huggable ben