August and The Owl…..

Before July ends?? Elo…. Its already august… hehehe. So what so interesting in recent event? Nothing much I guess.

Two weeks ago, it was very melancholic for me because my whole office went to a retreat in melaka, though a lot was reveled there, it is just to much to put on paper. But what really made me so melancholic was because I was able to visit a play ground where I have so much fond memory of a friend. Although I still can’t stay in the hot spring for more than 15 minute. It still brings so many memories of the good old days.

I say to myself last month I am not going to do OT, and I am going to relax and focus on myself for a while. Like doing the self reflection you see, but well I end up doing another month over time, returning late and so on. But not because I was too much of a workaholic, which I think I am, but because I needed it for something. And there are a lot of things to finish up before my colleague Sue having her baby. Which will be before Aidilfitri and that is when the office will have almost no people at all, so I be the only one left. Hehehe.. so better start everything as soon as possible.


Owh….why the owl? Well on 1st of august, I saw an owl… a white and brown feather, but I saw it in the middle on the city, I can understand why an owl would be in the city, there is a lot of rats around, but I was so amazed to see a wild one while hunting. An Owl is an omen of great intelligent (I think.. hehehe). Which kinda nice.. maybe it a sign that I should gain more knowledge… hehehe. Nevertheless it was a good sign to start the month owh… and preparing for the fasting month too… hehehe…

This month quote “know our own limiter!” hehehehe

Kage no Jutsu!!

The Hugabble Ben

July Visit.....

Not much happen this month although I did just receive my conformation letter.....YEHAAA.....!!!! Now that mean I got to check out one item on my need to do list of the year 2009.

I got a surprised visit, actually not really a surprise but just a visit from my uncle back home. Although it was a short visit, I was a lozenge to a sore throat of home sickness... hehehe hey I might just made a new saying huh? .. I am too tired to do more overtime this month. I been doing it for the last three month I thought I might be continuing it but it turn out to be to much for me. It really taking it's toll on my physic. It the the word I looking for I am not sure. But I head is really tired and I just lose track of time. Plus I new to be ready for the Exam....

I was planning to bring my uncle jalan2 kl 2day, but it turn out that their flight was at 12 noon so they have to leave early....so lar... cian uncle sia inda sampat bawa jalan2 KLCC atau MIDVALLEY siou uncle... next visit lar kio... hehehehe..
someone very dear to me was helping me during the visit... really appreciated it... hugs!!! forgot to mention that.. hehehe...

so what else to do today but just relaxing at home to be reading for the sprint tomorrow... hehehehe … back to work I guess...!!

Finally an off day.....

Setelah almost 2 bulan bertungkus lumus di pejabat akhirnyer I got some time to actually take some much needed rest. Kene jadi urusetia sukan Kementerian, that mean a week out of the office.

Isu yang sama muncul seperti sukan-sukan lepas, Baget..ngan..pemilihan sapa yang patut main. But anyway It was a nice retreat for me since I was literally stuck in the office for such a long time.

Sis Jess was accepted in KPLI, Congrad Sis!! I knew you can do it.. hehehehe... What else? Owh yeah have you ever felt this, you were planning to get something for someone, the suddenly somebody else gave a much better one.... Actualy I shouldn't feel anything but well ada gak rasa cam terkilan gak arr.. hehehehe....

Anyway....July is coming soon, and well that mean half a year had gone by. I check my new year resolution for 2009. I never did one..... so I check the list from 2008
learn a new language (cant seem to find the time to attend class)

Get a new qualification ( November 2009 in the time to complete this)

Get comfirm (Done On February!)

Travel Oversea(Done to singapore in march)

Hey which remind me, biler nak upload pic dari singapore ni? The truth is, the memory card tertinggal kat kampung when I sent the camera back hehehe.... as soon as I get the card ok.

OK although its already June, I like to list down thing I want to complete before end of 2009

lose more than 5kg

read more than 10 books

Buy a PSP

Regular Bowling and Dart training...(this one is though! Both use different skill)

Semua jenis yang mmg bleh capai.. dalam tahun ni, all it need is planning and execution 6 month to go..let ….go.. go.. go...

The Huggable Ben

Oh My.... It's May....

Have you ever heard of the saying "time flies when you having fun?"then april must have been a very fun month for me cause...oh my it's already May...

What it means is, there is another 7 more month to go for this year... hey... i havent even start with my new year resolution for this year yet....heheheh yeah i know.... hehehehe

My bos cleared my OT this month, and i even got two day of leave. which was spend mainly relaxing and window shopping. I realize like window shoping, surveying stuff that we could never afford like an Iphone and that original Loius Vutton Bag..*wink2* hehehehe... the two day really was well spend indeed. But since the "Claim" was cleared this mean i have to continue it for this month too.. but this time with more proper planning i hope, because i cant really overwork myself or i would suddenlly self destruct.

i am sorry to my friends who felt that i was like neglecting them. Hehehehe Open Table later ok!

i need to calm myself from april hectic month syndrome and planned my activity more wise for this month.

wish me luck guys!!!

The Huggable Ben

Busy….busy…busy…month Of April…

I had a friend sent an email saying that where you annual burfday blog? By the time I read the email It was almost two weeks ago, with the computer problem at the office and the hectic stuff happening I just haven’t got the time to sit down and actually type anything. I haven’t even had time to continue my reading and pretty much anything else.

But my burfday turn out great actually. Thanks for all your wishes, I do not think a bouquet of flower is suitable as a birthday present for a guy, but it’s the taught that count I guess hehehe.

But with this year burfday, come the most hectic month, a month which I really consider as the most hectic so far, I was so busy that I need to sent out my laundry rather than doing it myself on laundry day. But it also bring something nice, my bos finally gave the green light for my unit to do over-time. I often stayback to complete my work, but I never actually claim overtime for it, because all this while I thought I don’t need to. But since my bos say than other unit are like doing full over-time it looks like my unit have no work done, since we don’t do over-time. Strange reason but well that mean I can do more paid task. And that what I actually did. More and more overtime, more and more task, more and more hectic life. I haven’t even open my Friendster for a couple of weeks, OMG. But lets see if my claim clear out this month, if it doesn’t I stop the over-time and let those desperate one do it, since they claim seem to be cleared all the time… yeah I know very the double standard.

I was happy that my bos finaly allow me to be an overseer of exam for the department. Then the normal APC award ceremony, which turn out bleak.. and well I was just a “Penyambut Tetamu” so what can I do to change it rite?.

So much thing happen this month t hehehe I update more often…hehehehe

Huggable Ben

Four Wonderful Hour......

I had never told anyone about this, the four wonderful hour that I had experience once before, it was June 2005, It was 4 days before this person burfday, that we met. This person took me out for a movie, I still remember the movie title, It was “Mr & Mrs Smith”. The sweet thing about this day is because the person was asleep while the movie was on, but this person was holding my hand. It was sweet indeed.

The next thing we know we were having asam laksa together, the asam laksa was not that great. But you can't beat the company I was with. People might not think the person as a beautiful person but I sure did. My eyes saw the point of light on this person left shoulder and the eyes was shining. Just like what I was thought in the tradition of the sun.

Then it started the 4 hour most pleasurable moment in my life, I really can believe that is even possible to be kissing and romancing for that long. It did. (sound like legally blonde dialog huh?) but it was undoubted was the most pleasurable moment of my life.

Although my teaching thought me that this person was my soul mate. I understand that in one lifetime they could be more that one soul mate encounter. And because of this, the pain and sorrow of love are felt. My teaching of the tradition of the sun, if we really want to get rid of this pain and sorrow then
we have to renounce love it self. Is that even possible? I ask this to myself once. And here I am now.

Though I might look like I have renounce love, in actually I still believe in it. It's just that I avoid it so that I would not feel the pain. Strangely it was a phone call that got me thinking that I got over the last soul mate encounter. It does not cause me pain me anymore, I was happy. Truly I am. I do keep dropping that person a msg or two. Just to say hello.

But the past few days I was dreaming about this person again. The first two day was really weird cause this person was unleashing the anguish the person keep all the while from me, but last nite was the most intense one. At last the ending was that 4 hour kiss al over again..when I woke up, my body felt warm and dizzy like what I felt 4 years ago. How can that be? I thought I was over this person. But then again the pain was not there. Just the warmth. I knew then I was over this person just my soul does not allow me to forget the were once I felt that much pleasure. I would like to thank this person. But I don't want to bother this person life so I wrote this. And hope this person would read it. Thanks for the memory..

The Huggable Ben

P/s I was enjoying the OST for La Cordo D'oro Primo Paso. Especially the music from Tchaikovsky, beautiful music indeed.

Teman Tapi Mesra….

Ni satu teman saya, ceta dier cam ni, dier cam ben gak, dah terlalu terluka dalam relationship, so dier pun adopt teknik ben gak, ramaikan kawan daripada “special one” Because pada pendapat kteorang baik focus on kerjaya daripada pening2 pasal relationship.

Tapikan, teman saya sorang ni, bukan sekadar teman, but “teman tapi mesra” , He set the boundaries and the rule pastu kira cam ok ler, makin lama makin ramai dan mesra plak “teman” beliau. Sikap caring, and romantic beliau boleh dikatakan tahap paling tinggi ler dalam arena “teman tapi mesra” ni. Tapi semalam beliau datang bercerita dengan ben.

Minggu lepas hampir kesemua skandal ops.. silap “teman-teman” beliau nak serius plak.. hehe Sesuatu yang menghairankan ialah. Semua? Dalam minggu yang sama? Peh.. ko dah kategori Playboy ker ni? Paris Hilton pun kalah dow ngan ko… hehehe…

Tapi nasihat saya, Well dalam teman tapi mesra ni, kte kene letak boundaries yang kukuh, klu pihak sebelah rasa nak seberang boundaries tue, maka lihat ler klu diri sendiri sedia untuk kembali ke arena relationship ni. Klu dah sedia maka kene stop ler jadi teman tapi mesra kat pihak-pihak yang lain tue. Tapi biler semua nak mintak serius… Peh… you in trouble bro….. But saya faham sukar sebab dah sayang kat semua kan.. klu boleh nak serius kat semua, tapi soalan saya mampu ker? Larat ker? Makan tongkat ali hari2 ker? Hehehe…

Apa-apa pun gud luck bro dengan apa yang ko pilih… hehehe

The huggable ben..

Kejayaan Saiz Medium….hehehe

Tajuk cam gempak jer …hehehe… tapi hari ni memang dapat kejayaan nak cakap besaq tak jugak, nak cakap kecil kira besar jugak jadi ambik ler tengah2 saiz medium jer..

Kejayaan nak lepaskan diri dari kesilapan ketagihan mengunakan kad kredit sebenarnya. Hehehehe….. yeap guna kad tue memang mudah dan mengasyikkan, swipe…swipe..swipe nak penuh dah guna kad tue…

Biler bend ah tersedar ketagihan mengunakan kad ni, ben buat ler penstrukturan semula rancang kewangan diri, peh…lagi satu nama gempak jer… hehehe…Tapi setelah beberapa bulan berusaha..akhirnyer clear dah kad kredit ben…..!!!! YES!!!! Dan walaupun rasa sedih gak tgk kad-kad tue kene gunting tapi pas jer kene gunting kad tue rasa cam “FREEDOM!” hehehehehe

Hari ni rasa deman skit, semalam basah lenjung pastu, pakai kain sarung jerk at opis ngan jaket, rasa seksi jer hehehe…. Kene marah ngan ayah(KG) sebab basah kuyup masuk opis, pinjam kain ayah ler.. hehehe…nasib baik kipas dan aircond yang kuat kat surau opis menjadikan baju kite kering pas lunch.. jadi meeting petang semalam tak ler pakai kain.. hehehehe…

Penat ler… sanggat penat bebaru ni, keje makin banyak plak….Kepada kekawan yang dapat Aras 4 PTK bebaru ni taniah yer.. pasti ajar kita plak yer nak pass PTK..!! hehehe

Ok lama tak memblogging kan, Gud luck kekawan yang ada Debate Tournament!! Hehe

The Huggbale Ben

Kisah saya….

Lama menyepi? Yap memang lama menyepi, kesibukkan makin menjarakkan diri ben untuk memblogging..

Bebaru ni banyak berlaku, trip2 gi tempat2 yang menarik dan macam-macam lagi, tapi korang plak asyik dok tanya pasal Valentine plak…. Hehehe….

As I say before, dan mereka yang terima sms saya, On Valentine day saya buat demontrasi, Valentine is time to spread love to the Waring world!!! Peh….!!!! Cam activist keaman plak…. Hehehehe

Ada sorang member ni yang ajar satu statement baru, dalam relationship siapa “GULA” dalam definisi “Sweetness” Klu dua2 pasangan duduk 4 meter antara satu sama lain, orang akan melihat dan menegur sapa dulu? Maka pasangan tue gula, hehehe jadi pasangan tue tak payah nak jeles2 sebab dier gula dalam relationship tue…hehehe….. So dalam ben nyer “circle of friends” ramai antara mereka sebenarnya gula. Ben lak rasa cam asam biler bersama dorang.

Tapi dua tiga hari ni ben realize ben sebenarnyer gula-gula asam jawa, rasa dier masam-masam manis, tak ler standing gula-gula chupa-chup tapi ada gak yang gemar…. Peh penuh makna dow…

Thanks again… nasihat tue ben tak lupa nyer..you made me feel that I have move on to whut ever situation I am in.

I made a weird decision today, which I think is connected with what happen these few day, I just gave someone a call to see how is that someone doing, when that someone say I am fine, I felt great and I say “ well that all I wanted to know, take care ya!” a short yet very meaningful conversation. That conversation, tell me that I was ok.

Ok apa lagi, something amazing happen, so amazing that it would sound like a fairy tale…

The Huggable Ben

This is me…..

This is me..this is who I am…..what I wanted to say is, in the past I change myself, so that I could complement other. But all that sacrifice doesn’t mean shit, so I come to a conclusion, why should I change for anyone? Why? Because in the end it would just backfire and hurt rite in the heart, where all the emotion is store….

That is why something people say that I am shallow when in come into the matter of the heart. With all the relationship I enter I am hurt in almost each one. I still believe in love but at the moment my heart can’t really handle it. If I could show you how my heart looks like, you might see something like it came out of a war.

As a healing, I gather a lot of friends, because next best family friends are the next best thing. Because they are there in you low and up. I am a shoulder to cry on because I know when I need it, they be there to give their shoulder for me to cry on.

I can’t change for anyone, because this is me, you accept me as I am. If you can’t.. I did not force you too.. Because this is me, myself, it took a lot of effort to strengthen my heart to face this harsh world. And I am still not fully healed to face another emotional attack.

Accept me for what I am, and I promise you, you will earn a royal and caring friend…


The Huggable Ben

I Prove It.....

Yesterday I was able to prove to myself that I have move on, about one issue. Best sangat I finaly got to put an fullstop on it. Tapi secara tetiba biler issue tue bagi pendapat ben ler dah selesai, my heart suddenly hurt (not from the medical point of view!)

Jadi I took the nite life of kl, Gi explore the nite life of the city…Peh..tak sanggat jumpa ramai plak ex classmate, siot jer korang kan…. Harus baik gilos tahap naga kat kampus tapi kat luar aiyoo…..

The friends, the loud music, the free style dancing, even the poco-poco… which is hilarious….. Really put a healing balm on my heart.. hehehehe…

Although rasa cam light headed trus balik jam 5 pagi tadi, it really takes my mind off the issue at hand. Skrang the rest of my friend is still sleeping.

Jumpa ngan member2 lama semalam betul melancholic sanggat.. dah dewasa kite skrang kan… hehehe….classmate sekolah menengah mana korang semua biler nak buat gathering. Teman Kolej…. Dah banyak jumpa semalam biler planning buat gath plak?

Hehehe ……I felt better this morning… although rasa cam burn out skit.. nothing medication can handle.. ehehe

Ben

Nervous (Gemuruh)….tapi napa erk?

Sooryy the 1st blog entry for 2009 nine is upload only after 16 days hehehe.... to much stuff to say but to little time...

Dalam pengalaman ben, perasan Nervous ni cuma berlaku biler kte akan jumpa ngan seseorang atau sesuatau keadaan yang akan mengubah kehidupan kita atau pandangan ben terhadap sesuatu, Paling latest ialah The Bowling tournament biler ben dapat lihat dan kesan perubahan sikap seorang kawan yang selama ini cuba untuk sembunyi perasaan beliau dengan berlagak agak sombong. But It’s nice to say that the real person came out eventually.

Tapi Gemuruh yang ben rasa dari semalam agak lain skit. Sebab Gemuruh ni mmg sanggat kenal, tapi tak mungkin sebab ben dah buat perasaan ni jauh2, Isk tak nak ler jadi cam kawan yang tetiba jer menghilangkan diri beliau tanpa sebab. Mungkin it’s a start of a brand new friendship or business venture, tapi still ben rasa hairan dengan gemuruh yang ben rasa skrang. Dalam kepala, betul ker ni? Boleh caya ker ni? Hehehehe…. Lucu biler difikirkan, cam budak2 plak… apa2pun ben harap perbincangan kali ni lebih menarik dari yang lepas, tahun ni cam belum ada pekara yang menarik berlaku, mungkin hari ni? Sapa tahu kan? aii masih gemuruh ler… nak gi minum ler… hehehe… Have a nice weekend everyone!!

The Huggable ben