Thursday, August 31, 2017

What??? 1st post?? What was I doing??? Let see…..

There the new year, it was fine but did not got to do much at my home town since well all time was well spent with family. Got a new niece during this time, Baby Gwen was the highlight of the whole hometown visit. This year can’t buy anyone toys since well I don’t think toys are relevant to them, plus it only took them a few days to get fed up with them so what a good uncle to do then just gave new year’s money. Cousin was all grown up, I remember when I was the grown up and they were still youngsters that was a cute years indeed, now everyone has grown up, everyone has girlfriends to attend too, but one thing for sure I love it when we get together and have our new year drinking session. The grown up of my generation.

January roll in and well I had a hard time coming back to KL and work life, I woke up in the middle of the nite frantic to find where baby Gwen was, I was taking care of her until I had to come back to work so yeah I was missing her a bit. But the is was also the start where me heart got broken. Why is it when I open up my heart to anyone it keep getting hurt and well I do not like my state of mind at this time. Hurt deliver hate and hate does not go well with me, cause it cause more hearth break than ever before.

February was the month where it was official my heart was broken again and it hurt as much as ever, Then I realize that I have friends whom understand and well it was not as terrible to go through when you have friends that was there for you in hardship and all, so at the time where I needed the most I was sent a friends whom I never thought would ever be my friend. And that was February..
Mac came along, with all the hectic-ness of my job and some issue that was arise because I was helpful.. Yeah I know stupid rite? But that what happen, to compensate the blur ness of my head I decided to do something about my own life my own development so On march 2017… I enrolled as a master student. Using all the profit I have to do it too. That was it I guess..

April was not really eventful just so much to read and learn and stuff to do in the office and well I do felt that it was like my formation to be a better me. Heart still broken yet still hoping that what was lost will return.

Came May…I thought I would complete the rite of conformation sacrament at this time, why? I sense that it what I need to do, so I spend what left of the small profit in getting to my hometown and fulfilling my rite to the sacrament of conformation, I didn’t get to use the name Alejandro but at least my name was unique enough to hold for the rest of my  life. So may was a fulfilling one indeed.

Enter June, My master class are getting more harder with test and presentation and report to submit but that the whole reason for it to happen, it if not hard I would mater if you complete or not your studies that why we shall prevail amidst adversity hahahahaha… it was also the third of the contact class for my theology studies, and I saw the the chance to see what Jesuit really is and went to find it out…

July the exam month has come although with only 3 subject the stake was high as anything below than a B would be a indication that I would not be able to continue my studies, so hard work and sacrifices of sleep are needed indeed..

August came…remember the small profit well it was back a few new job and stuff now enough to cover tuition fee for the second semester oh yeah I pass my first semester but not as good as everyone else but I pass and that all that matter…wuuu~~~~  and it was this month that again my heart got broken to pieces and well also lost it but at least special friends are around to help. Hugs heal broken heart faster.. I guess I was not over it yeat after so many month but well someone help me, thank know who you are…

So now it 1st of September and wht do we have? Hari Raya Korban at the office hehehehe… but on to and adventure soonest wuuuu~~~~  let hope everything goes well..

The huggable Ben

Tuesday, August 30, 2016

The Practice. PR…Consultant

Well people would know that I do PR consult, although before it was just for the sake of studies and turn out that it could be a small profit things to do although suddenly because I am so peculiar about quality of the final product I became to obsess with the quality that I forgot that this is part time stuff. And taking to much job is taking me piece by piece, I don’t fill that I am a whole person when I think to many stuff to be done, took to may job at a very short time….wuuu~~ but at least it does bring a small profit, I am able to buy and install a new ceiling fan, new spectacle hopefully new phone I hope hehehe… it more profit then hopefully could fund my master studies. Hehehe..  Well that was the dream when I started the PR practice. But I just realize how much work and attention to detail I need to do. Oh my gosh… Need to be more selective than quantity.
Come on ben, September in looming…. You need to get yourself together …although love life seem to be happening though just need to see rhythm that all I need hehehe…

Wuuu August coming to an end~~!!!!  

The huggable Ben

Friday, July 15, 2016

July post… the very late post….

Well! remember when I say I wanted to post something about the island and stuff?  Let’s just say I was very very fun but very very expensive, because the food there during tourist season is like *sigh*.
But what happen? Why another late post? Is my life that hectic to post anything anymore? Not really I think I just then to forgot about the blog same as my diary something a few week abandoned before the next post, How can I call myself a writer when I am not keen into writing right? I need to remind myself that.

About the trip, I was relaxing and the photo-shoot was great too. Waiting for the result hehehehe. The island life is so me, I love the seas and the sun and the swimming and snorkeling and just the pristine water of Perhentian island.  Except for the garbage which was overwhelm because of the sear amount of tourist in the island that have a very bad habit on where to throw their own garbage. I wish the scout in the state or the student there would organize a beach cleanup or something, since the place is a tourism location it would easy to find such sponsorship I tell you very easy indeed with enough time planning though.

So what happen in June? Well! June is the perfect time to turn vegetarian, whilst fasting with the others. Although there is a time, when I did broke the taboo of being vegetarian during the fasting month, I am glad that I at least got more than half a month being pure vegetarian. During this month also my appointment with Dr. Masni for an endocrine clinic, seem my health management these pass few month was like really really bad, My HBA1C in over 10, although my fasting was 7.6 is it still seem bad management. Then come the BP checkup, BP was fine, nothing new, but a bit increase since I actually gain more weight since the last checkup. Doc was saying something like how bad the result for that particular visit was. She changes a few meds and add more encouragement to lose more weight. Other than that I got a new pen for the insulin injection and a new apt for DM monitoring wuu more MC hahahaha.

Come July, Officially a student again although what I am learning is totally new and out of the norm education here in Malaysia. A new journey but well I hope I can complete it as my other studies go. Was only able to do some reading, haven’t finished the assignment yet, but fun to learn new things I guess. Hopefully, this satisfied my hunger for something new to learn and obtain hehehehe~~~!!

Wish me luck people…

Thehuggable Ben

Friday, May 20, 2016

A writer whom does not write?

That me, I like to say that I am a writer but for the past few months the amount of writing I had made would be ermm… 1 blog last February… oh my gosh what had happened to me? If I am in the scout movement,  I would have lost my writer badge already.

I just had an epiphany I want to write, I may or may not be publishing in the form of books or other formal publishing but I have this blog and that would be enough for me I think, for now. Who knows maybe someday I may just finish the novel that I had always wanted to write and all. The longest written work that I had done for the past 4 years would be my academic writing which is also 1/3 of charts and statistic. But well deep in my heart I still want to write. So I will write here a place where I can express myself and only judge by those who follow me hahaha. But I can be bother about that now I just want to write.  

I am taking a diploma in theology soon, I am doing it because I wanted to learn more than the Sunday school syllabus that we all had been through before and there are some much more than that I wanted to learn about it. Which when I was young the adults would always say that it was not at my level to understand. Yeah, I might not be able to understand it at that time; maybe I would be able to understand it now.

Well, that would be the new me updating my blog why. just to remind me of what to write on the next one, this pic will help.

The huggable ben 

Saturday, February 27, 2016

The January Late Post~~hold on…it already February~~~

After the last post what have I been doing? Well to tell you the truth I been finding ways to continue my masters studies which I was offer this month, for the whole length of my holiday, I was thinking how do I going to do the studies. And well deferment is the only way I think.

November 2015 was the only month I can remember what had happen during the whole month, I remember I apply for a post and had to go to HQ just to wait nearly 4 hour to get a copy of a document which was so stupid because it was just a simple task but because some shenanigans that they wanted to maintain as so called ruler of the organization yet does not even understand how to read the rule or any supporting document until it is shove in their face I guess.

Yeah hectic month November, but not as hectic as December because well I had to finish everything before going back for the holidays luckily meet up with a fun lecturer from northern east coast which I help to help the lecturer student which I found out was actually helping that lecturer to complete that lecturer studies. But his guidance on how to do master really cleaq my view on it. Maybe one day when I have the ability to continue my studies I will.

The holiday I was focusing more on the family, more cooking more spending time with everyone although hectic with the new babies in the house and the old one too, hehehe.. love it a lot. Got the chance to go to church more frequent and then got to know about the new religious order of single individual which was wow in a way.

My gosh almost end of February and well I can say as much for the months I forgot to update.. trying to frequently type my story but well I hope mac would be the month I start

The huggable ben~~

Wednesday, October 14, 2015

The Gap in between~~

You know with the amount of time that I am supposed to have after finishing school I would have to have a lot of time to catch up with my blogging, but I turn out that I have less time to do such thing since I am sorting out messy arrangement in the office, Need to catch up with all the back log and form more procedure to simplified and optimizing the effectiveness of my task finishing methodology.

What big work usage… hahaha…. Yeah it been a while since the last paper of my final exam and almost two month since the result of my final semester was announce and I am really stoic about it. Although I did not gain the privilege to obtain the “First Class Honors” since my CGPA is 3.48 just shy of 0.02 point, but at least I finish it on time, 8 semester and within the contract of my sponsor, which remind me had not receive anything from them in a while now, does this mean I am off the hook or maybe some more bureaucratic shenanigans in the future.

What to do now? Master degree? Find another job? run of to become a hippie or maybe a hermit? Hahahaha… I am not sure… suddenly the same feeling 4 years ago before I continue my studies came back, what to do now? What should I do?.... maybe this moment between the convocations which will be next year… there clues to what to do next……

The huggable ben 

Friday, August 14, 2015

All Things Are Passing

This year I was heavily influence by the Carmelite religious order, so much so that I did a novena where I found calmness. I wonder why? I had always known about the order since long ago, but all this time, I had only able to visit the monastery last year. I thought at first that was the reason why I am really affluence to the order… yet after almost a year I finally understand why…

Carmelite orders are and order that focus on finding the higher up with prayer and meditation. “how would you find peace in chaos? You find peace in contemplating silence and prayer” that was what one of the Nuns of the order says. And yes in the world where I am living now chaos and hectic-ness are the norm. Nothing can actually be too quite. There gadget and environmental sound almost everywhere now. So how do we find our own self? In one of the order prayer there is this verse which say “all things are passing; only God is changeless. Patience gains all thing”.. I pin up that prayer on my cubicle and every time I need to find myself. The prayer really does help.

31 June 2015 my grandma pass away, my heart sunk and broken since the last time I saw her was last December. I could not hug her tightly that time because she seem fragile, I was afraid that I might hurt her if I gave her a hug, I was only able to give her a kiss and hold her hand for a while. Franticly I went to find a flight ticket back home but to no avail. I might have missed the funeral. The morning after I saw the prayers pin-up on my cubicle and start to recite it over and over again to find a way to calm my heart. A few moment after I got a call and it’s a friend whom got me a flight ticket that evening. I was thankful to my friend because if not I would had regret it for the rest of my life. When I was on board that flight my tears can’t stop flowing for the whole two hour journey. Yet it was not because mow she are gone, it was because I was remembering everything my grandma had done for me on during my younger years. I guess I always thought she be there forever. “All things are passing” now I understand.

The Huggable Ben