Although Its December~~

Although its December where the ends of the years comes near but I guess for me it the start of things, my first month of trial run and stuff in the new office has come to an end and now it time to show what I can really do but hey. problem with that is well I am not sure if I am up for the challenge or not.

The Sly fox’s is almost everywhere I am not sure why but I guess the experience of the old offices and some tragedies from last two years has a bit harden my heart and view to see everyone as a sly fox’s. protect yours borrow and make sure the sly fox never gets in and see how you really are.

But the last two nights at the house was very cold indeed not really sure if that a good thing or not it is the season of rain and flood here so its water season so it may be that but the morning was very cold and well hehehehe…

Reminiscing for the last few's days on the pilgrim journey we had last year it was a beautiful journey indeed, and well its was special because it was with the parents and well I was the furthers journey I ever had. Will do it again someday… when? Well that is for the big guy up there to decide hehehe..

I was hoping that today I could be going to the night market but it seem that the rain might had cause the market to be closed so its either just pau or meggi today which is ok in so many way.

My journal is making it way I hope I can complete it though I havce waste a lot of book journal these past few years only able to commit like a few days to a week before it because something hard under the Bed hahahaha….

I hope I can revisit the holy again, just to feel the awesome presence there… soon hopefully

The huggable Ben

The move complete~~I guess

I guess this year is a two thing happening at one time, for example was wound healing twice this year, the boil and then now the exsospipe bunt on my leg. Trying to figure out my living arrangement and now for the 3^rd time this year I move again. This year end whist my move to Temerloh Pahang. I am so stress because there were so much to do, packing repacking move removing. But if I were to be station here for now on we, I guess all the basic need are fulfilled. Except for the laundry arrangements. There is no nearby laundry that I can do myself, there is a laundry mat down the office I guess I can send it there but for now, I bring my cloths back to KL to be wash at the house. The KL home based.

Change is the only constant, that is what I always say to myself and to those whom had a drastic change in their life. Yes, change is the only constant but I didn’t say that it did not come with so much hardship to overcome and such. But I least I know whom I doing this for, for my faith for my family and for my future. Am I going to be here for that long? I am not sure of that but yeah it could mean I need to be here a while longer than I had expected but that come with the change I guess. The harder it get the more I learn about what to do and what to expect, don’t expect to much and you never go wrong cause you be more appreciated to the things that you have now. That a major thing that I need to rethink and reassess on what I am doing right now. Hopefully new place new people all the old stressed are going to stay in the past.   

There is nothing else top look forward to this year but the long holiday going to spend it with friends and family especially with my heart an soul RRDU~~~ wuuuuuu~~~~ huggy to all ~~

The Huggable Ben

Almost a week here..

The hermetic journey begin...

That make it sound so dramatic doesn't it? but i hope it was that dramatic. The new office environment are much much more conducive in this initial introduction, File room is a bit tad small though, i mean on the second day I got stuck twice between the cabinet whilst trying to find some file. So system here is simple too, file number are easy to understand, the court system is also something i can understand. No to much urgent file that need to be done as soon as possible like the last place so yeah that a good thing too.

There is a lot of night market here, only Wednesday night the only slot in the whole of the week that there is no night market nearby. That great since i can easily buy food for dinner there. The new housemate seem find too, small chat and everyone just mind their own matter which is nice since i dont really think i have much passion this early of the state of the move. But eyy its always nice to meet and make new friends.

Just like Qud.. a few i just meet, very nice guy, very cheerful and friendly, got to kidnap him to go to the night market a few time, but unable to buy him dinner yet cause the wife seem to love cooking for him so he has to get home quickly hehehe.. its nice to have a friend though, can laugh and stuff hehehe..

Since its still early of the move not much task needed to do hence more time to return to my passion of writing blog. hehehe.. i should try to see if there are new stuff to do here like maybe fishing and stuff.. hehehe....

The Huggable Ben

The Yellow Car Phenomenon

I always wanted to do this particular topic for a while now because the thing happen to me recently.

The Phenomenon was a positive one " When was the last time you saw a yellow car? You might see a yellow car once a day or so . Now, for the next week check out how many yellow cars you see. Since I have alerted you to yellow cars, you will probably observe many more of them than you had previously noticed. Is it because so many more yellow cars just hit the streets? Of course not. You just focused your mind on yellow cars, and like a magnet, you see more of them."  this phenomenon was supposed to explain how "The more you focus on the 'positive side of life,' the more you will attract the same things. The things we focus on create a magnet for our lives." see it was a positive kind of phenomenon or how i would like to called it as a theory 

why? because the same way as you say focus on the positive it will attract positive things, focus on the negative it will attract negative things also. The thing that happen to me was those people was hoping to see my negative side so they can tattle tale on me. They forgotten that i have notice this shit happening for such a long time. i had warn the person in charge about this and ask that i would be place in a location where that kind of issue might arise. The person in charge say it was ok, the person in charge understand and will take noted but still place me where it might arise and issue. Less then two week there is an issue and after that a simple action of posting a picture in socmed cause an uproar stating i live an extravagance lifestyle, sadly the constant tattle tale to the person in charge even without evidence take a toll on the person finally just accepted that i might be doing these but leave any trail of evidence ... well i told that person about this theory... and say i told you about this long before this is even an issue, i agree to your instruction because you told me that you wont be effected by all the yellow car push in front of you.. and now... you just accept that i was a yellow car... a negativity yellow car..... but as a blessing... i was relocated... the reason was not because of the yellow car issue but those focusing in see the negative me.. was so scared that i leave without anything for them to curse at... make another yellow car statement and the all were in an uproar.. making so many statement yet since i am going out... whut the F people you just cause trouble for everyone. then i realize it was so that everyone can blame me for the trouble that happen... but..well you all dead to me anyway hahahahaha.... see this is the dark side you wanted to see.....

The Huggable Ben

New place, New task, New life in the small town

I wanted to write about the yellow car theory before this, it been a while since i wrote anything but yet i almost lost my way and almost chose to end it all and start a new, but i was given a chance to well hope for the best and try to go through it with my head hail high about the water that was trying to drown in for the past year.

Since the start of the issue last year where it was among the best time of my life. But as experience had told me before once you were on top of the world you be down at the bottom before you know it and yes it was what actually happen to me the whole of 2018 till 2019 but it was almost like i found a flotation device and had a few aha moment that guide me through it all and perseverance was what i took from it and it lead me to where i am now.

Before the issue was resolve i was treated like a sacrificial lamb that was going to be sacrifice anytime soon and everyone whom i tot was a friend at that time was there watching all the way until out of the blue it was decide that i was saved from it and it should had ended just like that. But nahh... it wouldn't be as simple as that. it would be more than just a simple let go. I was relocated... hence no more chubby Ben in the big City but chubby Ben in the small town. In a way it was what the big guy up there had planned. Here i got to practice a pure way of hermetic-ism. Simple life it what i always advocate in so many way hence here is where i can do that.

Sad thing about all of this is that a project that i started with some of my friend never get finished i was wounded and was not able to get back the momentum that was need to completed the journey of that particular project hence i was unable to complete it. Although i have thought of great deal about it and found that it was just not meant to be at all. I did not regret it that i was not able to finish it off i have learn a lot from it but i was sad that i have to let down some people who have high hope that it would be done. In my heart i would have love to complete it but it was just not meant to be, all plan that i have planed to do to complete it was canceled by all the issue that have arise since the incident last year.

But well i hope we will start a new journey at a new place and with new people, trust are not easily given now but i wont be a dark joker whom had been hurt o many time but something like hayley quinn that seem nice but well let just say would never be that nice for anyone to step on me again without repercussion...

your sincerely the hug gable Ben