.
This year I was heavily influence by the Carmelite religious
order, so much so that I did a novena where I found calmness. I wonder why? I
had always known about the order since long ago, but all this time, I had only
able to visit the monastery last year. I thought at first that was the reason
why I am really affluence to the order… yet after almost a year I finally understand
why…
Carmelite orders are and order that focus on finding the
higher up with prayer and meditation. “how would you find peace in chaos? You find
peace in contemplating silence and prayer” that was what one of the Nuns of the
order says. And yes in the world where I am living now chaos and hectic-ness
are the norm. Nothing can actually be too quite. There gadget and environmental
sound almost everywhere now. So how do we find our own self? In one of the
order prayer there is this verse which say “all things are passing; only God is
changeless. Patience gains all thing”.. I pin up that prayer on my cubicle and every
time I need to find myself. The prayer really does help.
31 June 2015 my grandma pass away, my heart sunk and broken
since the last time I saw her was last December. I could not hug her tightly
that time because she seem fragile, I was afraid that I might hurt her if I gave
her a hug, I was only able to give her a kiss and hold her hand for a while.
Franticly I went to find a flight ticket back home but to no avail. I might have
missed the funeral. The morning after I saw the prayers pin-up on my cubicle
and start to recite it over and over again to find a way to calm my heart. A
few moment after I got a call and it’s a friend whom got me a flight ticket
that evening. I was thankful to my friend because if not I would had regret it
for the rest of my life. When I was on board that flight my tears can’t stop
flowing for the whole two hour journey. Yet it was not because mow she are gone, it was because I was remembering
everything my grandma had done for me on during my younger years. I guess I always
thought she be there forever. “All things are passing” now I understand.
The Huggable Ben
