I could not believe that at the moment when the last person of significant had left, i was the new target of the devils eyes. I thought to myself that this could'nt be happening after all this time of avoiding the devils eyes. But I have to accept that I am one of those people who was on the list and is was a matter of time before that devils eyes would turn to me.
At this time I am home sick because I really wanted a holiday from all this shit. But I wasn't able to do that. I could not believe that this month would be the month with so many shit happening at the same time. I totally think that i need a long rest.
I was so stress that I almost resign there and then. I know it was crazy, but I was so stress up, and there was nothing else I could think to do. Thanks for the call form ayah, that cool me off a bit and finally i ask to be given a sign to help me discern, what am i suposed to do.
And finally I saw the fourt and the fifth sign actually, and made up my mind. I decide it is time for me to leave my secondary nest.
In five year, I have seen all those who had been with me in high and low here, move to greener pasture, I might not know if the condition of a new place would be better of worse than the old nest. But at least I can find new experience and things to learn and new people to meet.
The old nest have thought me a lot of skills and I had observed lot of people behaviour to trained myself on how to dealt with them. I wish that I would never have to move because honestly there are people who are dear to me there but I lost the passion I had once in that place.
So I pray that I would find a new place where I can be more myself than where I am today. I pray that I be as happy as I was before, like when waking up in the morning and the secondary nest is where i want to be.
Would I be sorry? probably but that is a risk I am willing to take and face by myself.
The Huggable But Emotional Ben
